I'm Tired of Wanting

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, an online community of writers who write every Friday for five minutes on a given prompt. 

Today's prompt is 'want'.

I'm tired of wanting.  

I'm tired of hearing 'I want................',  'I want that',  'I don't want to'.

I have been staying in my oldest daughter's house for over a month now, waiting for her to have bub number 2, and trying to be of some help.   My toddler is three and a half, and her toddler is nearly three, and the dynamics of two toddlers and two mothers in the same space is interesting, to say the least.  

They spend so much of their time wanting something from their mums, most of the time very definitely and loudly, with body language to match.  And they often want the same thing at the same time, even though they didn't want it until the other one had it.

The other day, they were both sitting at the table wanting, wanting, wanting while we prepared food.  We were both trying, very patiently, at the end of yet another long day of wanting, to gently encourage them and teach them and remind them to stop wanting and just ask, nicely, for something and then to wait - patiently.   But, they were doing more than just wanting something they 'needed'.   They were competing and wanting something just because the other one had it or suggested it or was not allowed to have it.   It was driving us nuts! 

And I got to thinking, that toddlers aside and our need to persevere with them, I wonder how God feels about His children constantly wanting and demanding and being jealous of each other.    We know what our girls want and need and we do our best to meet real needs, including the need to stop wanting.   We often separate them and take them aside, to reconnect and reassure and let them know that we haven't forgotten them, and to get their focus off each other and onto their primary relationship with us. 

And we can and should do that, because they're little and they need us, even though they may protest loudly or they may go willingly.  It's our job to make that reconnect happen.

But, it's up to US to reconnect with God when we find ourselves wanting, wanting, wanting - what someone else has been blessed with, or just because we see something and suddenly feel so discontent without it.  

Psalm 23:1 says, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.'   I know the word 'want' there means more than our modern word want, but it is talking about needs being met and about contentment.  

It's so childish of our children to squabble amongst themselves and whinge to us about what they don't have, and yet I find myself realising how childish my demands and discontent are in God's eyes. 

I'm tired of wanting when my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills.   I don't need to want - I just need to wait, in full confidence, in expectation, not in sullen, cynical silence or loud, demanding cries.  

It reminds me of the verse about the weaned child, quiet on its mother's lap.   That is our goal for our children, but is it our goal for ourselves - to be like a child who doesn't need to be placated and 'fed' all the time, but one who is quietly waiting, on God's lap (not distant and independent), having learnt that all its needs are recognised and met in due time. 

Psalm 131:2  But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

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