I’ve tried so many times to write this blog post, but each time I kept getting tripped up.
If there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s to stop if it’s not
working, because I haven’t assimilated it even enough to articulate it. I need to assimilate what God is showing me,
and I need to articulate it so I can understand it and assimilate it further. It’s a process and a cycle, only a little bit
deeper each time.
God has been incredibly busy since the last blog post, so
much so that all I’ve managed is poems.
They are my attempts to articulate the struggles I’ve been sorting
through. Some of those struggles are
not things I can write about, even in a blog post. Not for public display. But I can share the principles I’m learning.
But now, I think I understand enough to try and articulate
some of it, and in the articulating, perhaps it will start to cement in my own
mind and heart.
It’s all about storms and peace in the storms and trust and
rest and Jesus. All mashed up together
and I hope I can make it make sense.
Recently, someone asked if I could continue with the series,
Pathway to Peace, that I started over two years ago, before life went
pear-shaped, again. I had given up on
it, for so long, and then when I started writing again, it wasn’t about peace,
it was about the heart surgery God was doing, is still doing.
So, I’m coming back to that series, and hopefully I can get
back to what the Lord was trying to show me.
Turns out, it’s now incredibly relevant and important, for
me, that I understand it.
It seems it’s where He’s taking me after all.
This subject of peace is so incredibly important. Jesus thought it important. In His
language, it’s called Shalom. Our English
word ‘peace’ is such a poor translation of what shalom really means.
We think peace is a lack of conflict, or perhaps we
associate it with quiet.
But the word shalom, which is translated peace in English, is
so much more than just quiet or a lack of conflict. It’s so much more than that.
According to Strong’s Concordance 7965, Shalom means
completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquillity,
prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or
discord.
Shalom is being at peace in every area of our lives.
When I see all of that, I realise
how much I am missing peace, shalom, in my life.
I come back to Jesus’ words and realise shalom was important to Him.
Shalom I leave with you. My shalom I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don't let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful. John 14:27
And I have found myself coming back to Jesus for that shalom, to not only understand it, but to receive it.
And that has had me in a place of surrender, a painful process of letting go of some precious things, of walking away from some things. Sometimes, it's the things we hold onto that forfeits our peace.
It's also about getting out of the boat, that place of relative safety, that normal we're comfortable with, into the storm, where He is waiting. It is so counterintuitive to do that. It screams ‘stupidity’ like nothing else, and yet we don’t fully find Him until we’re prepared to let go of those things that we hold onto, that hold us.
I found myself, like Peter, saying, “If it’s You Lord, call me to come and I will get out of this safe place into uncertainty.”
https://www.allsaintsainslie.org.au/index.php/2020/08/05/walking-on-water/
And He was there, calling, waiting,
as promised.
And it’s all fine, till I look
back, or look down, and then my waves overwhelm me, and I am sinking, again.
But there He is, hands
outstretched, ready to catch.
That Shalom is there, in the person of the Prince of Peace, the Prince of Shalom.
Thou wilt keep him in shalom shalom, whose yetzer (mind-set) is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee. Isa 26:3
I want that perfect peace, shalom, shalom, all the time, but keeping my mindset stayed on Him is the hardest part. The boat is so much more familiar to me, and yet it's not till I get out of it that I discover all that He is for me. I will never know that while I am content with the boat.
Getting out of that boat, letting go, coming to a place of
surrender left me pretty darn vulnerable, to be honest. I just wanted to run and hide, to climb back
to my hiding place, to go back to ‘easy’. It’s
not easy, hasn’t ever been easy, not really.
Just familiar. Getting out of
familiar is hard, but the joy of being held, not by a comfortable boat, but by
the One who commands the storm, makes the struggle to surrender worth it.
Recently, I spent some time with some pastoral people, seeking
the Lord about a pretty difficult situation.
Toward the end of our time of talking
and prayer, one of the men spoke this over me.
Kath, “Be anxious for nothing, be anxious for nothing, be anxious for NOTHING,
but in everything, in everything, in EVERYTHING…. with thanksgiving, present your requests to
God. And the PEACE of God, which surpasses
all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
He felt the need to repeat those phrases and I needed
it. I’ve heard that Scripture so many
times, but in the context of what God was dealing with and healing on the day, it
meant so much. It came alive for me, it
was a rhema word.
A stronghold of fear broke for me that day. Fear has been a constant companion all my life. Will I still get afraid of things? Almost certainly. But there was a strength that came as those two pastoral men laid their hands on my shoulders, one on each side, and just prayed for strength. I felt like God was reinforcing a tottering building with steel girders. Now, now I can stand strong in Him, against fear.
And I need to. Heading into this storm that has threatened our family for so long, I just want to retreat to that boat, but not this time. He is here, and I will do it afraid, held, eyes on Him, mindset stayed on Him.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds
His people, from this time forth and forever.
Ps 125:2
I am surrounded by a storm, but He surrounds me and He commands the storm.
I will come back to this subject of Shalom. I have so much more to learn and to write, but this is what I have learnt so far: the boat was comfortable, but being held by Him, in the midst of the storm, not in the absence of it, is the sweetest place of fellowship I have ever known, and His peace really does transcend all understanding. It makes no sense, this shalom, to my mind, but it does indeed guard my heart and my mind, in Him, the Prince of Peace. I can rejoice in Him, and I will.
“Rejoice in the Lord
always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all.
The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace (shalom) of
God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6,7
One of my favourite songs, that helps me practise the 'I will' phrases I need to pray daily at the moment.
With everything
I will bow down to tell You that I need You
Jesus, Lord of all
Jesus, Lord of all
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