Something that I, and several of my friends, are struggling with at the moment is trusting God for breakthrough in areas of relationships or health, situations that just aren't budging, that have been long-standing battles, in my life, in their lives or in the lives of those they love.
And that is part of the problem I think - it's a battleground and we are the main players - in our own minds.
Somehow, we have to shift that narrative that we are the main players. We are not!! God is the main player in these struggles and we need to learn to look to Him, to actually believe that the outcome is His responsibility.
A friend recently reminded me of the story of Jehoshaphat, who faced an unbeatable enemy, and his response to that. His response was to get on his knees. And God's response was to honour Jehoshaphat's acknowledgement that he could not manage the situation.
Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek Him. 2 Chron 20:3-4
When you grow up with an out-of-balance sense of responsibility, you carry that into your relationship with God. If you've been in an adult relationship where you've had to carry more than your share of the load - the physical work, the blame, the guilt, the relational work, the outcome - you also carry that into your relationship with God. You learn to be the micro and maxi manager, because you have to, because if you don't, no one else will.
What we need to learn instead is to place those battles in the Lord's hands. We have to stop fighting with clenched fists and start fighting on bended knees, because the battle is the Lord's - His battle, His fight, His timing, His way.
He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Chron 20:15
One of the most liberating things that I have realised lately, and still realising, is that I have limits - my responsibility, my ability, my understanding, my fault, my wisdom, my strength and more - all limited. And that's good!! Yep, huge revelation. It's a relief actually. It's good that I have limits. And God doesn't love me less because of them. Other people have for sure. But God doesn't. He doesn't need me to be super Kath.
He is the One who is strong and powerful and knows everything that needs to be known about that person, that relationship, that health issue, that stronghold. It's Him! And He is limit-less.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable. Ps 145:3
It doesn't take long to search out my greatness. It's incredibly limited. But His greatness - unsearchable. I can't begin to fathom that out and I don't need to. But I need to lean into it, intentionally and consistently and keep doing that until it becomes my new normal. But that can only happen when I first recognise MY limits. That's the hardest part of leaning in - is to first stop leaning on myself.
I've felt so powerless in so many relationships and situations. And that has made me angry and frustrated and touchy and resentful and pushy. When we feel powerless and frustrated, we get pushy. Pushy in our prayers, pushy in our attitudes and opinions that spill over into comments, pushy in our actions, pushy in our 'love' - because we want something to change so much that we're prepared to push for it. That's not how God works.
God works through gentleness. Yes, He's the God of the tsunami and the earthquake, because He can, but He doesn't generally work that way unless we've resisted all His other attempts to bring us to a place of surrender and trust. Sometimes, like with Elijah, He shows up that way to remind us He's all powerful, but then He bends down to listen, He holds our tears in a bottle, He feeds us and calls us to rest, He works underneath the surface, He tends His garden carefully and quietly and consistently and gently.
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.......... 1 Kings 19:11-12
Something similar happened to me recently. He visited me during worship, at church, and it was so powerful and I need to keep reminding myself of what He showed me. I felt this Presence next to me. It wasn't a physical presence and I opened my eyes long enough to realise there was no one standing next to me. No one physical anyways.
The Father was standing next to me, close enough to touch, but He didn't. I felt this overwhelming sense of how strong this Person was, and yet that strength was coupled with and contained inside an equal measure of gentleness. It was so profound. He could have overpowered me but didn't. He could have pushed Himself on me, but didn't. He could have touched me without permission, but didn't. He could have intimidated me, but didn't. That's gentleness. And yet the strength that I sensed and felt was like nothing I've seen or felt anywhere, even in people who've overpowered me in the past.
You see, God is all powerful but His actions are always contained within that deep and high mercy that is His trademark, that compassion that comes from the Father's heart, that love that becomes a river of life within us. We are not the source of that river of life - He is!!
Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens;
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the great mountains;
Your judgments are a great deep;
O Lord, You preserve man and beast. Ps 36:5,6
The language in these verses could not be more obvious - God's mercy and faithfulness as high as the heavens? Based on scientific fact, that is pretty darn high. His righteousness - ability to do right, be right, always true - like the great mountains? His judgements, His understanding, His wisdom like the great deep? I mean, how much higher and deeper and vast do I need Him to be? He is more than enough for me and His capacity is well beyond my limits. It's me not seeing my limits that has limited His capacity in my life and how I pray for others and try to help others.
When I don't see my own limits, I live in worry. When I don't see that it's okay to have limits, I worry. When I don't surrender those limits to Him, I fret and worry and strive to make something happen, make something change. When you can see how it works, you see how pointless it all is. I liken it to sitting on a rocking chair, getting faster and faster and more and more frustrated until something gives and someone gets hurt. You're not actually getting anywhere, but you're expending so much energy and nothing is changing, nothing for good anyways.
We certainly can't add a single hour to our lives by it. I suspect, instead, that we actually shorten our lives with all that pointless effort and hurt others in the process.
We need to get off that rocking chair of worry and presumption and pride and frustration, and get back on our knees.
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:26,27
Like Louie Giglio says in his new book, "Worry tells you that you are in charge. But who wants that job, anyway? Faith tells you the God who loves you is in charge. Your Maker is in control. You can trust Him. All His ways are good."
When I recognise my limits and put limits on my responsibilities, my attitudes, my words and my actions, it opens the way for God to work.
Something God showed me many years ago and yeah, I'm still trying to remember it and live out of it, is this: gentleness, instead of pushiness, comes from a place of wisdom and understanding - knowing who's God and who isn't - not me nor them, whoever the other battlers are in my equation.
We can only be gentle if we understand that God is in charge, because otherwise we think we are, or should be, and then we get pushy.
Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit, His Holy Spirit. But it seems I need to go through a major pruning process for that fruit to be manifest in my life.
One of the hardest things I had to hear from the Lord, in a very difficult situation a few years ago where I desperately wanted to help someone, was 'please get out of My way so I can work'. And He did, when I did. It was hard, really hard, to let Him do what I couldn't. But my goodness, He made a much better job of it than anything I had tried. Funny that?!
Back to Jehoshaphat.
Then Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem, in the house of the Lord, before the new court, and said: “O Lord God of our fathers, are You not God in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You? Are You not our God, who drove out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel, and gave it to the descendants of Abraham Your friend forever? And they dwell in it, and have built You a sanctuary in it for Your name, saying, ‘If disaster comes upon us—sword, judgment, pestilence, or famine—we will stand before this temple and in Your presence (for Your name is in this temple), and cry out to You in our affliction, and You will hear and save.’ 2 Chron 20:5-9
When I read these verses, something jumped out at me - we will stand before this temple and in Your presence (for Your name is in this temple), and cry out to You in our affliction, and You will hear and save.
If we will just come into the presence of the Lord, into His overarching strength and wisdom and gentleness and mercy, that is well beyond anything we can come up with, and if we intentionally lean into and on that Presence and that Name (His character, everything He is and says and has done before), with our fists no longer clenched for a fight, and our hands open in a posture of surrender (of our agenda) and an expectation of His purposes and power, then we will see change.
"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’” 2 Chron 20:17
As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise Him for the splendour of His holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:
“Give thanks to the Lord, for His love endures forever.” 2 Chron 20:20,21
In the midst of the battle, can we praise Him for the splendour of His holiness? Can we understand how much higher and wiser and more powerful He is than us or the problem? Can we lean on that and into that, instead of our own wisdom and strength? If we want Him to win, we have to.
Have I got this sorted? Absolutely not! So many years of carrying too much responsibility has left its mark. But He is my Redeemer and a great one at that. Nothing is too difficult for Him, not even me.
Ah, Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You. Jer 32:17
I often put this song on, to remind myself to surrender.
… So when I fight, I'll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I'll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
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