In my last blog post, I spoke of a developing
picture. That's still developing and
will have to wait. It has a lot to do
with identity, which I've been coming back to. He's still stripping away what's not of Him.
Suffice to say, that what I let go of at the river that day has made space, and plenty of it, for a love that comes from Him. It’s now wrapped in words like compassion, grace, mercy, delight, embrace – all those words that were previously not reaching beyond my intellect.
I
pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with
power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your
hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and
established in love, may have power, together with all
the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and
deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that
surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness of God. Eph 3:16-19
I've been praying this Scripture for myself for a
while now, and am now finding it to be happening. I did a Jacob, and decided I was going to
stay in that table drain, and not even try and get out, until He blessed me -
with a deep and real knowing of His love, that surpasses the knowledge I've had
in my head for years.
I've taught it, preached it, written about it, but not known it in the depths, in my inner being. I came to realise I needed to know it in the depths, not just in my head, and I knew I couldn’t make it happen.
Sometimes, trying too hard to dig yourself out of a hole
just finds you digging yourself deeper.
So, I decided I'd had enough, that I wasn't budging till I got a
breakthrough. I was tired of
haemorrhaging, so I’ve wrestled and stayed put.
I decided if anyone was going to dig, it was going to be Him, and He
has!
He dug very deep, and He still is. The rough places are becoming smooth, the
emptiness is being replaced by a love I had no idea could be real for me. It’s certainly a love that surpasses intellectual
knowledge.
Is it time to walk out of this table drain? I’m not quite sure, so I suspect there’s a
little more to do but I don’t know what the more is, and I’m not digging. I will be quiet before Him, and just wait,
till I can rise up on wings like an eagle.
In the meantime, I've been using my time to study what I
thought was a distraction, one that He keeps putting in front of me. Over the last few weeks, one word has jumped
out at me in songs, books, Scriptures - King.
King - it's not a word we're particularly familiar with
in our culture. What even is
kingship?
Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up, you ancient
doors, that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty
in battle. Ps 24:7,8
Who is this King of glory?
About ten years ago, the Lord led me over and over again
to these verses, along with the rest of Psalm 24. And in understanding a little about
kingship, I moved somewhat forward in my relationship with Him and found a
measure of healing, by separating myself from my father's rulership and
standards, which were not godly. I came
to recognise that my father's kingdom was in direct rebellion to God's and had
caused me harm, and that he should not be my reference point.
This time, in coming back to Psalm 24, He keeps asking
me, 'Who is this King of glory? Will
you seek Him? Will you let Him go
deeper?'. Yes, because I need to know
Him properly. I want to serve Him
properly, love Him properly, honour Him properly.
In re-reading Psalm 24, I discovered this promise.
They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication
from God their Saviour. Such is the
generation of those who seek Him, who seek Your face, God of Jacob. Ps 24:5,6
I wasn't so much looking for vindication, but I've found
it. In my Jacob-style wrestling, I was
just looking for His face and a knowing that has evaded me till now. I wasn't sure it was possible for me to
really know His love, in a deeper way than just in my head, but I’d seen it in
others, and Paul prays for it, so I knew it must be possible. I have to testify that it is indeed
possible. And it's a growing thing - or
rather a deepening thing. In the digging
deeper, He’s creating a foundation that will enable me to actually step out of
this hole I’ve been in, for my whole life, as it turns out, not just this last
episode.
In going down this rabbit trail, as I first thought it
was, I have found that it is giving me more truths to stand on that are
unshakable. In the searching, I'm
discovering that the King is indeed the King of glory, and that He is MY
King. I'm finding truths that are
healing my heart, becoming part of the new foundation, my identity. Who knew?
Instead of trying to understand WHAT a king is, I decided
to start by asking WHO this King is, because He is the reference point for
understanding true kingship.
Who is this King of glory?
He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords.
……He who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the
King of kings and Lord of lords. 1 Tim
6:15
He is the great King over ALL the earth, even
those who don’t recognise His kingship.
For the Lord Most High is to be feared, A great King over
all the earth. Ps 47:2
He is the King of Israel and the only God.
“Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel and his Redeemer,
the Lord of hosts:
‘I am the first and I am the last, and there is no God
besides Me. Isa 44:6
He is an everlasting King who reigns over an everlasting
kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion
endures throughout all generations. Ps
145:11-13
He is a righteous King, who rules fairly and justly and
does what is right.
He rules the world in righteousness and judges the peoples with
equity. Psalm 9:8
He is a King who bestows honour and riches (not just the
financial kind).
Both riches and honour come from You, and You rule over
all, and in Your hand is power and might;
1 Chron 29:12
He is a King who is strong and mighty.
You, O king, are a king of kings. For the God of heaven
has given you a kingdom, power, strength, and glory Daniel 2:37
He is a King who is lowly and humble.
Behold, your king is coming to you; He is just and
endowed with salvation,
Humble, and mounted on a donkey, Zech 9:9
He is a King who delights in His people.
The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again
will you fear any harm............He will take great delight in you; in His
love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with
singing.” Zeph 3:14, 17
He is a King who brings salvation to His people.
He is just and endowed with salvation…. Zech 9:9
He is a King who lifts up and strengthens His people.
…..and it lies in Your hand to make great and to
strengthen everyone. 1 Chron 29:12
He is clothed with majesty and glory.
Gird Your sword upon Your thigh, O Mighty One, with
Your glory and Your majesty. And in Your
majesty ride prosperously because of truth,
humility, and righteousness;
Ps 45:3,4
His majesty and glory and goodness draw me in and make me
want more of Him. His rule is just and
fair and nourishing. He is strong but
humble, He is honouring and life-giving, and He came to serve and to save. That's the King that I want to seek, to
know, to honour with my lips, but also with my life.
We've all had kings of one kind or another in our
lives. So many of us have been ruled
over instead of loved and blessed and protected and strengthened. Our ‘kings’ are little kings, little rulers,
though to us they are often ‘big’. They
are parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, pastors, partners, friends,
colleagues, bosses. The list goes
on.
When I was growing up, my father was a king. He even said so many times. He ruled a kingdom, albeit a small one. But his kingship did not bless us or nurture
us, though we had a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in our
bellies. He loved, 'needed' to be in control and
he was not submitted to the King of Heaven, so he ruled instead of being a
husband and a father.
In having a king, we missed out on a Dad. Kingship is for kingdoms, not close
relationships. Kingdoms are necessary,
but there is only one true Kingdom and one true King. He is powerful, but He is also good, very
good!
Someone once said to me that democracy has no place in
Christian society. I now disagree
because there is only One who can rule well as a King, in a theocracy. All other rulers should be subject to the
checks and balances that a healthy democracy provides. For those who, even today, live in kingdoms,
it’s easy to see how faulty kingship can be.
For those who live in relationships where someone expects to be king,
it's damaging, because these ‘kings’ are sinful people, and because their
influence is so formative and it’s in our homes, where we should be equal in
value, and we should be safe.
Because my father acted like a king, instead of like a
dad, I've come to resent and resist the rulership of the King of glory. I have shut Him out, and been defensive with
Him. I might not openly resent it, nor
have really been aware of it, but inwardly I have resented it and not bowed to
it. I have not honoured Him well. I have lived with a first-world entitlement
that has no place in a kingdom, an entitlement that says it's my life - my
time, my resources, my energy, my thoughts, my plans, my agenda.
Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: forget your
people and your father’s house. Let the
king be enthralled by your beauty; honour Him, for He is your Lord. Ps 45:10,11
God will challenge the rulership of the kings in our
lives to lead us to Himself, and to show us the difference between Himself and
other rulers. That's what He did with
me. Having challenged that, He's now
challenging me again to get to know this King of glory, and to serve Him well,
to move away from my resentful understanding of kingship, into the safety of
His kingdom. He’s showing me the hidden
rebellion in my heart towards being ruled by someone other than a good King. I need to listen and pay careful
attention, as a daughter should.
But even that has been a huge blockage. In being my king, my father didn’t teach me
what a daughter is. I don’t
really understand that well, not as God intended. I’ve been a daughter, I still am, but
to me it has meant responsibility, ownership and a great deal of pain. I know now that is not how He meant it to
be.
Over the last week or so, He has drawn me repeatedly to
Psalm 45. I sent it to a friend, because
I was praying for her when I first got it and it was confirmation for her. But, it seems it was as much for me. My goodness, so many truths in this psalm.
I’d heard a few days before the familiar story of Esther,
and how she spent 12 months getting prepared to be the King’s wife.
He drew my attention to the fact that she was given all
that she needed to prepare for that. She
didn’t have to find all the resources, just to cooperate. She didn’t really have a choice in being taken
to the palace and perhaps she went willingly.
But her willingness to submit to the treatments was another thing.
He’s been asking me to submit to changes in my personal
life, but reminded me that HE is the One who makes the provision and creates
the program for change, for transformation.
I just need to submit. It’s the
submission that’s hard, but then He showed me why. Submission takes trust, it takes feeling
safe, it takes believing in the wisdom and strength and goodness of the One
being submitted to.
One night, I was reading from Psalm 45, and He asked me
to read it again and again until I saw what He was trying to show me. Listen, daughter………..
I’d said to a friend only a few days earlier that the
word ‘daughter’ created a cynical response in me. That night, He started to speak the words
‘listen, daughter’ to me over and over until I was weeping in His
presence. His love just poured into
those places where this daughter was wounded by a father who wanted to be king,
wounds that created the mistrust and walls and rebellion that have kept the
King of glory out.
When the tears eased up, He asked me to look again at
Psalm 45, at these words in particular.
All
glorious is the princess within her chamber; her gown is interwoven with
gold.
In embroidered garments she is led to the king; her virgin
companions follow her - those brought to be with her. Led in with joy and gladness, they enter the
palace of the king. Your sons will
take the place of your fathers; you will make them princes throughout the
land.
In thinking about Esther, I’d missed the point. In looking at this passage, I could only see
it talking about a bride coming into the king’s palace, and that’s what some of
the commentaries suggest. But, it’s
actually talking about a princess.
Commentaries suggest it has a parallel significance. It’s talking about being prepared to be the bride
of Christ. One day, we will be,
collectively, the King’s bride. But this
passage also refers to a princess, endowed by her father with gifts and fine
garments, in preparation. This daughter
was nurtured, beautifully dressed and joyful.
Whenever I had come into the ‘king’s’ presence, into any room my father was in, I had to brace myself for the words ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’, along with many other taunting words, that lodged themselves into my identity. My ‘king’ was not interested in his daughter being nourished, welcomed or dressed in fine garments. He was working out of the damage that his ‘king’ had done to him and so perpetuated the cycle of damaging rulership.
The imagery the Lord showed me in this passage did not escape me. Once again, the Lord used Scriptures to heal past trauma, and I was being set free to see what He meant by ‘daughter’. I finally saw it. I'm still seeing it - that imagery of being nurtured, dressed in robes of righteousness.
I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, My soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness. Isa 61:10
I am the King’s daughter. That blows my mind! Not only is He restoring and redeeming the concept of ‘daughter’, but showing me that I am daughter to the King of glory! And it’s okay to be THIS King’s daughter, because He is lowly and humble and just. He is a King who blesses, not demands, who nurtures and bestows honour; He doesn’t use, shame or reject. He is a King who provides embroidered garments for His children because He delights in them.
Rate the Dress: the littlest bodice and the biggest garden of embroidery - The Dreamstress
And if any man is reading this, it’s also talking about sons being made princes, not slaves, not servants, but sons and princes. He gives His sons honour and authority and purpose, not shame. He gives respect, doesn’t just demand it.
As Christians, we're born into the Kingdom of God.
Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God
unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but
the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You
should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again. John 3:5-7
We have been born again into a kingdom and we have a King. Kingship starts and finishes with Him. Who is this King of glory? This is Who He is:
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the
glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens
and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O Lord, and You exalt Yourself as head
over all. Both riches and honour come from You, and You rule over all, and in
Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to
strengthen everyone. 1 Chronicles 29:11,12
How awesome is our King! He is the King of kings, the Great King, the overall
King, the Supreme Ruler.
And we should obey Him.
That is our reasonable response.
The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world,
and all who live in it; Ps 24:1
But it is also our privilege because our King is good and
kind and just and humble.
.............that you would walk worthy of God who calls
you into His own kingdom and glory. 1
Thess 2:12
If the Queen was coming to stay, what would we do? How would we act? How would we dress? If the Queen came to stay, would there be
rooms we wouldn't invite her into? Even
if she was too polite to ask, would we recognise her right to do so?
What would change in me, in my home, if the Queen was
coming to stay? Would I change my
behaviour, my speech, my diet, my clothes, my manners? Would I clean my house better, change the
books on my shelves, the food in my fridge, tidy my rooms more? Would I play the same music, watch the same
movies, talk the same talk?
If I honestly answer that something would change for the
Queen’s presence, then something does in fact need to change for Him. Because He is the King above all kings and He
IS present, and I need to live for the audience of One.
Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up, you ancient
doors, that the King of glory may come in. Ps 24:7
Will I let this King of glory into every part of my
life? Will the gates and ancient doors
and walls that have previously been closed off to Him, be lifted up and
opened? Will the King of glory be
allowed to ask for change, and be allowed to direct and supervise those changes,
that deep transformation that works its way out to my visible life?
He asks us to be holy - set apart to Him. And He requires ownership of every part,
every space, every room, every nook and cranny, every deep place.
I’ve been reminded several times over the last week or so
of these verses:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s
mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to
God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not
conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what
God’s will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1,2
But then I saw these verses in a different version (The Message) and it spoke to me loud and clear.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take
your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and
walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God
does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don’t become so
well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.
Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily
recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it.
It’s my every day life that He wants to be in charge of, and I knew
that, in my head. But, it’s my every day
life that is driven by what’s deep in my heart.
I can modify my behaviour for church, for shopping, for visitors, for
catching up with friends even. But what
about my every day life – my all day, every day life? Will I quickly respond to what He wants
because He is my King and I am His daughter?
Can I trust that what He wants for me is good? Can I let the King of glory beyond those
almost invisible doors and walls and ancient gates to the depths beyond? Will I respond quickly and willingly to His
challenges to my every day life?
My King, this King of glory, humbled Himself, and wore a cruel crown of
thorns so that I could be crowned with compassion and honour. He descended to the depths to defeat sin and
death for me. He carried on the cross
all my sin, iniquity, pain, brokenness, shame.
That is Who the King of glory is.
Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up, you ancient
doors, that the King of glory may come in. Ps 24:7
Jesus
- The majesty of His kingship and the humbleness of His heart - image
(photostockeditor.com)
In view of the mercy shown me on the cross, what else can I do? How else can I live but lay my whole life
down, lay my whole heart open to this King who held nothing back to make me His
own?
You gave Your life for mine
Nailed to
the cross, You crucified
all my sin
and shame
It was
washed by Your mercy
You are the
treasure I find
My reason
for living
So let my
life become an offering
All praise
to the Lord most high
All praise
to the One who saved my life
All praise
to Jesus Christ
High King
of Heaven, my King forever
So I lift my hands up, lay my whole life down, my whole life down before You.
Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honour Him, for He is your Lord. Ps 45:10,11 I love this scripture. Praise God! thank you Kath for your encouraging words.💖
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear friend. You have spoken truth to me so many times, and been such a faithful prayer warrior and companion on this journey, right from when He first started to unpack it. So very grateful for you, Lynne.
DeleteKath, thank you so much for modelling this journey before us. As always: rich fare, such a feast for thought...and prayer... Celebrating the fellowship of Psalm 45! xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Alice. I'm so blessed by the truths in Psalm 45 and knowing that He gave them to you too.
Delete