I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is BLAME.
Lately the Lord has been speaking to me about cracks and crevices - the gaping holes in our character, in our sense of identity, in our confidence - all covered by the masks we wear.
We can hide our flaws and failures and fears so well at times that not even we ourselves can see them.
But God....
He seems to engineer circumstances, or at the very least take advantage of them, to show us the state of our hearts - the fear, the resentment, the jealousy, the selfish motives, the shame, and so much more. These cracks and crevices are often very deep and the exposure is painful.
When we are faced with that exposure because something or someone has pushed our buttons to the point that the mask falls apart, what then?
The default is often to blame.
To blame the person who pushed our buttons.
To blame the people who damaged us way back.
To blame the people we're currently in close relationship with.
To blame the people we lean on for not knowing what we need in that moment.
To blame Him for allowing the circumstances that have exposed our cracks.
To blame ourselves for having those cracks and crevices in the first place.
Blame, blame, blame. It's so easy and normal and human. We've been doing it since the time of Adam and Eve.
But it doesn't move us forward in any way.
In fact, it can create for us a deeper hole, a stronger bondage, a harder recovery, a greater wound. It damages relationships even more and gives the enemy more to work with.
Blame is about hiding - our sin, brokenness, pain, shame, failures and more. I see so many people doing it, even in the church. In fact, it seems to be rife in the church. So many Christians are 'stuck' in dysfunction and broken relationship with God, themselves and others because they're busy blaming someone.
What is God's answer? I love these words of truth from John.
If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:6-9
Hiding behind blame is walking in darkness and not practising the truth. It blocks fellowship with Him and others.
Getting real about what's in our hearts, owning what comes out of our mouths, what is driving our behaviour - that is walking in the light.
Denying our cracks is deceiving ourselves and it hurts others and kills fellowship.
Confessing our sin and our brokenness is allowing Him to cleanse and heal and seal up those cracks and crevices properly.
When we own it, confess our part, acknowledge the damage, we no longer need to mask and pretend and hide. We can be our authentic selves, and move forward - broken but healed, inclined to sin but knowing not to, secure in His perfect love for us, not needing to hurt others to protect ourselves.
Each time something triggers us, it's an opportunity to throw ourselves into His grace and then move forward, slightly less broken, with one less gaping wound, and knowing the height and depth and breadth and width of His love.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
................. that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19
I say I'm fine, yeah I'm fine oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not
I'm brokenAnd when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's notAnd You know itI don't know why it's so hard to admit itWhen being honest is the only way to fix itThere's no failure, no fallThere's no sin You don't already knowSo let the truth be told
Insightful post, Kath.
ReplyDeleteI had never thought of blame as hiding, bur you are right.
I believe blame and shame and the resulting need to hide are so intertwined! Taking responsibility means facing shame but it is also the path to healing!
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