BUT GOD!

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is BUT.    

The Lord has been teaching me a lot about work and money and rest this last year or so.

The girls and I, since my separation from their father, are living on reserves and a little bit that comes in fortnightly from child support and family tax benefit.    Once I've paid for rent and electricity, there's very little of that money left per fortnight.  

Because my name is on the farm business partnership, I cannot access single parenting payments from the government.   And because of the girls' father's unwillingness to cooperate with legal process, two years on, that isn't changing and there's no money coming forth from settlement.  

So, at this point, I'm trying to get my business up and running, so I can bring in some income, along with juggling single parenting, homeschooling two girls in high school, part-time studying (business course), running a household, being available to family and friends, serving my church and church family, etc, etc, etc.    

And so many nights I fall into bed saying, 'but God, I can't do this!'  

And I often wake up the next morning feeling the same way.     

So He's been teaching me about HIS path forward for me, for us.

Again and again, He brings me back to Psalm 81.   

Here are some of the verses He is using to teach me to listen to Him, stay close enough to His face to hear His explicit direction for ME in this season, and to never leave that spot, to recognise His release from the previous situation (which I often second-guess), and to acknowledge my need of Him moving forward.  

“Hear, O My people, and I will admonish you!

O Israel, if you will listen to Me!

There shall be no foreign god among you;

Nor shall you worship any foreign god.

I am the Lord your God,

Who brought you out of the land of Egypt;

Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.  Psalm 81:8-10.

Four times in that psalm the Lord says to listen, to take heed, to hear.   How do we hear if we're not close enough to His face to know what He's saying?   

When I stop listening to Him, and start worrying (worshipping the problem), He brings me back to the Word, His Word.   

I have to STOP and remind myself, 'this is my situation, but God.................'  

When we're following a navigational tool in our car, and we deviate from the set path, it recalculates and we need to stop and listen and watch the screen.   I need to do the same with the Lord every.single.day.      

"But God" needs to become my daily reminder.

But God has said He will never leave us nor forsake us.

But God has said that He has a good purpose and a plan and will teach me that plan, IF I will get quiet and listen.

But God will fight for me, and the battle is His, not mine.  I just need to wait expectantly, patiently, quietly, like a weaned child.

But God is working in the seen and the unseen.

But God's mercies are new every.single.day if I will just stop and access them and receive.

But God has laid a burden on my shoulders that He requires of me, and He will show me the rhythms of grace needed to carry that burden with Him, not alone.   

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me —watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matt 11:28-30 The Message Bible

We are going to learn this year to listen to Him and find those 'unforced rhythms of grace' for our life so that we can not just survive, but thrive.   

Throughout the last few years of this whole process of healing and moving forward, I have become convinced that the Lord has a specific path for each of us.   You can type the word 'path' or 'pathway' into the search bar on a Bible app and find many references to pathways and God leading us through.  

I don't want to be like the Israelites who were given over to their stubborn hearts to listen to their own counsel.   (Psalm 81:11,12).  

He is the Good Shepherd and He does lead us, as we listen.  

So instead of saying, 'but God..... I can't', I/we have to learn to say, 'but God, I can't, but You can, You do, You lead, You know, You have a plan and I WILL get quiet and listen and follow - every.single.day'.   

The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.  Ps 23:1-3  

(Verse 1)

In the process, in the waiting

You're making melodies over me

And Your presence is a promise

For I am a pilgrim on a journey

And You will lift my head above the mighty waves

You are able to keep me from stumbling

And in my weakness

You are the strength that comes from within

Good Shepherd of my soul

Take my hand and lead me on

(Verse 2)

You make my footsteps and my path secure

So walking on water is just the beginning

Cause my faith to arise, stand at attention

For You are calling me to greater things