LIVING WITH THE DISCOMFORT OF PERHAPS

I’m writing for Five Minute Friday and this week’s prompt word is PERHAPS.  

The word perhaps implies a questioning of the current perspective or position, or a leniency in our belief.

And perhaps we all need that more than we realise. 

Lately, I’ve heard some very strong opinions about what is happening, needs to happen, must happen, should be happening in various situations.  I’ve got my own strong opinions about things and have expressed them to close friends at times, often in frustration.    

My two teenage girls have very strong opinions about each other and what the other ‘should’ be doing or not doing that would make their life easier.    And like the two men looking at the number nine or number six, they are both right in what they see, but both wrong in their unwillingness to change positions and see the other side of the issue.  That takes maturity and security.  

You don’t have to be on social media for more than five minutes to realise that people have very strong opinions about current issues, and not always because they’ve thought through the issues or done the research.  In the wake of major tragedies like the Texas floods and the injustices in the Middle East conflict, there are many strong opinions, strongly stated, and not always respectfully or carefully stated, and not always with a thought to how it will be received by those personally impacted by those events.  

I’m inclined to agree with J F Kennedy who said, ‘We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.’

It’s uncomfortable to think through something and realise that perhaps we were wrong about something we have accepted and preached as true, maybe all our lives.  It’s much easier to not leave any room for ‘perhaps I’m wrong’, but when we don’t, trust and credibility and connection are undermined.  

Does that mean we should compromise on truth?   Not at all.  

But are we the guardians of truth?  Really?  

Or is He? 

He is the Truth.  He is the source of all truth.  

However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. John 16:13

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  John 14:6

I often say to my girls, and others who ask, that there aren’t two sides to every story.  There are actually three.  There’s yours and mine - and His.  And His view IS the truth in its entirety.     He is in the unique position of being able to see both sides of the coin at.the.same.time.  We cannot do that because we have our limits. 

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isa 55:8-9  

Because we have our limits, there needs to be a perhaps in our thinking.   We need to run back to Him when our view is challenged, and we need to ask Him His perspective on it.  We need to be lovers of truth.   If our view is really the truth, then it will withstand the scrutiny.   

We need to be like His disciples who basically said to Him, ‘I have no idea what you’re on about, but I’m going to stay and find out!’  

From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.  Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?”   But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.  Also, we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”   John 6:66-69

And perhaps we also need to ask Him WHY we’re feeling so strongly about it.    Is it fear?  Is it insecurity?  Is it pain?    Is it unforgiveness?  Is it generational pride?   Is it arrogance and ignorance – they generally go together and feed each other.

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.   James 3:13-17  

There needs to be a perhaps in our thinking until we know what HE says about it, and we’ve sat with the discomfort of the wrestle.    We need to recognize that we have our limits and only HE sees and knows the whole truth of any situation.   We need to give the grace that is given to us, like Jesus did.  He didn’t compromise truth – HE spoke it clearly.   But He was also full of grace and looked beyond the surface of things.  

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.   John 1:14

Can we do the same as Jesus?   Can we come at the situation with a ‘perhaps’? 

Perhaps that person isn’t attacking me so much as reflecting their own pain and insecurity.

Perhaps that person has been through immense pain that I know nothing about and can’t begin to understand.  

Perhaps that person is struggling under the weight of the load they carry that I don’t see or feel.

Perhaps there’s more to this issue than I am aware of, and I should be quick to listen so I understand, instead of being quick to react and quick to speak.  

Perhaps what I’ve heard or read or been told isn’t completely true and I should dig deeper.

Perhaps we are both right, but we have limits in our capacity to see the whole picture.  

Perhaps I should step onto their side of the coin, to see their perspective.

Perhaps this issue is not a hill to die on after all.

Can we live with the tension and discomfort of perhaps?   Can we give grace for that without compromising truth?   Can we recognize that HE is the guardian and protector of truth in its entirety, not us?  Can we be wise and understanding enough to live with perhaps in the lives of others?  Can we trust Him to guard and protect the truth while we live humbly with each other? 

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?   Micah 6:8

 

This song is a beautiful reminder of that verse.  

 

And it all comes down to this
What You require of me
Love my neighbour as myself
And You above all things

[Chorus]
Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly
With You, God
In all things, in all ways, walk humbly
With You, God