ARE YOU BENT OUT OF SHAPE?

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is RESPONSIBLE.

If, as children, we are asked, conditioned, or pressured to be responsible for things that are not ours to carry, we can end up damaged.

And we become adults who often avoid things that we should be responsible for.  

As a child, we should not be held responsible for managing a parent's emotional health.

As a child, we should not be held responsible for the long-term management of a sibling's behaviour or emotional wellbeing.

As a child, we should not be held responsible for keeping the ‘peace’ so adults can avoid problems.

As a child, we should not be held responsible for providing food and shelter and clothes.

As a child, we should not be held responsible for the well-being of our parents’ marriage.

As a child, we should not be held responsible for the damage caused by others, nor for ‘fixing’ it. 

There are many things we should not be held responsible for, nor feel responsible for.  

Those are heavy loads, too heavy for a child, but one that many are given to carry.  

When we learn to carry these things too early, it affects us – deeply.    It stunts our healthy development. 

And we often don’t understand that until much later, if ever.

As a child, we should not be held responsible even for our own well-being.

That comes gradually, with age and development and maturity.    

The crossover for that is the teen years, where we should gradually become more and more responsible for ourselves without constant prompting or external motivation. 

What I have found is that I am resistant to certain responsibilities that I should carry because I have carried too much that I shouldn’t have carried.    

Interestingly, in those areas where I am resistant to carrying responsibility that IS mine to carry, it’s usually because there is some resentment or exhaustion because someone else has loaded me up, or simply dropped the ball on the things that they should be responsible for. 

Sometimes it’s because what the Lord wants me to carry and care about, no one else really has and so I often view it as not that important, compared to other things.  

That resistance to carrying what’s mine is a good place to start looking.   That’s what He’s been pointing out lately.

It reminds me again of those verses in Matthew 11 where He talks about an easy yoke and a light burden.    Often our lives don’t feel like that, do they?   And we wonder if the Lord has forgotten us because we are carrying so much.   But when we sit with the disparity between that verse and our reality, really sit with it, we can hear His whisper and His questions about what we’re really carrying that simply isn’t ours to carry. 

Trouble is, putting down what isn’t ours to carry will almost certainly upset someone and that is precisely why we often don’t.

Sometimes that person who gets upset is us – because of pride or restlessness or fear.

Sometimes that person who gets upset is someone else - someone powerful or pitiful, or both. 

But we need to be like Jesus – do only what He saw the Father doing.

Like I said in my blog post last week, He felt that pressure to keep people happy, to be responsible for things the Father wasn’t asking Him to do.    But, He didn’t bow to that pressure because He knew who He was and whose He was and obedience to the Father was more important than keeping anyone else happy.  

Simple – but not easy. 

Galatians 6:2 says  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

But then Galatians 6:5 says For each one shall bear his own load.

They seem to contradict each other, but they don’t.

This is a helpful article for understanding the difference between load and burden in the original language. 

The Greek words for burden and load give us insight into the meaning of these texts. The Greek word for burden means "excess burdens," or burdens that are so heavy that they weigh us down. These burdens are like boulders. They can crush us. We shouldn't be expected to carry a boulder by ourselves! It would break our backs. We need help with the boulders -- those times of crisis and tragedy in our lives.

In contrast, the Greek word for load means "cargo," or "the burden of daily toil." This word describes the everyday things we all need to do. These loads are like knapsacks. Knapsacks are possible to carry. We are expected to carry our own. We are expected to deal with our own feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, as well as the responsibilities God has given to each one of us, even though it takes effort.

Back to my resistance to being responsible for the things He has given me to carry, and the reminder that His yoke is not mine to carry alone, but with Him.  

That will be this week’s journalling exercise. 

I would often walk past this little tree, which is in the village where we lived for five years.   It still reminds me that even if we had a shaky start and grew up a bit bent out of shape because of the heavy loads we were responsible for, the Lord can still redeem our lives and make us strong enough to stand straight. 

Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matthew 11:28-30 MSG

My life is a light for Your cause

My will laid aside for Your call

And reserved are the depths of my heart

Only for You

 

I'm caught in the rhythms of grace

They overcome all of my ways

Realigning each step everyday

To live for Your glory

 

There's none beside You God

There's none beside You God