Pathway to Peace

I woke up the other morning with a few random words spinning in my head.   They seemed random, but they're actually quite connected.

Funnily enough, they all started with P, and a few more came to me throughout the course of the day.

So why all these random words?   Well, I've been asking the Lord for a while now a question that is not easily answered, and perhaps these seemingly random words are a pathway to those answers, like stepping stones, if you will.

So, here's the question, or series of questions really, and it's rather long-winded:

How do you move forward in a difficult relationship, when you can't actually safely or easily engage with the other person to resolve the issues?   

I've been praying about one relationship in particular, but others come to mind.   All of us have people that we struggle to get along with, whether they be siblings, parents, children, friends, colleagues, people at church, customers, acquaintances, neighbours, perhaps even your spouse.    Sometimes it's open conflict; in other relationships, it's just a quiet strain that is always there. 

Sometimes, honestly, it's easier to just stay away from them, isolate ourselves, withdraw emotionally, stay polite and pretend everything is fine.   Perhaps for safety we have to do some of that or perhaps it's just how we manage the conflict for ourselves, because they're unaware of it.   Perhaps we just need time to heal and get some perspective, but sometimes that develops into not knowing how to go back and start again.  How do we move forward from there? 

If we can't actually sit down and work through the issues with that person, and we're not even sure what the issues are, and we're not sure why we can't work them out or how to fix it, or if we even want to, but we're willing, BECAUSE WE LOVE GOD! -  how do we move forward?   These are the thoughts and questions that I have tossed around for many months now. 

I've been praying and reading and wondering about it all.   So, the Lord very kindly woke me up this week with these words and added a few as I pondered on them throughout the day.  Funnily enough, they all start with P and I've thought of a few others, but I'll try and stick to the plan, which is still unfolding. 

I figure the best place to start is with P plates, given that all these words start with P and most of us are still learning how to do relationships well, regardless of age or status.

I think it's probably fair to say that many of us don't naturally know how to resolve conflict in relationships, so we attack or withdraw - fight or flight, right?    If we didn't start life with healthy relationships, then it's not going to be easy to move forward in relationships when there is conflict, even if we are Christians.   And guess what, if you're in a relationship, at some point, there's going to be conflict!

So, I'm hoping as I dig into what the Word says about each of these words, I'll find a pathway through and out to the other side - to being at peace with myself and with God and with others. 

For now, I'll leave you with the words themselves and will come back to this post as soon as I can, with hopefully an insight or two on the first point.   I suspect this will take some time as I dig into each one, and I also suspect it will be quite painful, but here goes. 

I'll also leave you with the verse that jumps out at me just at the moment, and which is so relevant in the light of the struggle that we all have.  

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.  Romans 12:18