STILL MANY THINGS TO GUESS

I have five earthbound daughters.   Though they're all quite different, some say they're similar to look at.    They have different giftings and strengths.   It's been fascinating to see their giftings and strengths and personalities develop over the years.  With the youngest two, I'm still having to guess where they're headed.

Linking up with other writers at Five Minute Friday.    Today's prompt word is GUESS. 

I'm left to guess what my other children look like, what their giftings and strengths and personalities might have been.   I lost them too early to know.   I was left to guess their genders and names.   There were times when I knew the name; with most of them, I didn't know at the time.  

But in the last few months, the Lord has been giving me names, slowly, in the stillness, because He said it's time to process the losses.    I guess it is.   

For most of the losses, I buried the pain and got on with life, because I had to, because it seemed easier.  I guess it was.   

But now, in His grace and mercy, He's said it's time - to stop guessing and start knowing some stuff.   

(The Lord speaks to me a lot, which some find bizarre, but the Scripture is clear that He wants to speak to us and will, if we listen.   John 10:27, Isa 30:21, Heb 3:7, 15, Jer 33:3, John 10:16, John 14:26, John 16:13, Ps 85:8, Rev 3:20, Rom 8:14, Ps 32:8.   Over the years, I've learnt what His voice sounds like and how He speaks to me, and no, it's rarely audible.)

So it's not bizarre that He would give me names.   I think part of the healing is seeing them as real people in a real place called heaven and that I will one day be reunited with them and know them.   

So, for now, while I'm as earthbound as my five daughters, He's graciously removing some of the guesswork.   

I'm sure there are still many things to guess about them, but I'm grateful to know more than I previously have.  The names give me context and something more tangible to hang onto than merely traumatic memories of miscarriage.  

I will write more on that sometime and how the Lord is leading me to process that, and explain what the picture is about.    At the moment it's all incredibly raw, made more real by fresh grief at losing a close friend.  

I guess He doesn't waste anything, eh?  

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.   2 Cor 1:3-4

This is a beautiful song, called I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song) written by someone who lost their baby close to full term, but still very relevant to anyone who's lost a baby or babies through miscarriage or stillbirth.     

Such a short time, such a long road

All this madness, but I know

That the silence, has brought me to His voice

And He says

I've shown her photographs of time beginning

Walked her through the parted seas

Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes

Who could love her like this?

I will carry you, while your heart beats here

Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years

I will carry you, all your life

And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me

To carry you