WHEN CHRISTMAS IS BROKEN

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is STUFF.  

Stuff it - I'm not doing it, I'm not doing Christmas with family this year. And stuff them! 

Stuff it - I'm not spending days and heaps of money on people who just want to keep taking. I'm done! 

Stuff it - I'm not doing Christmas at all - it's always a reminder of painful family memories and current family strife.  

Stuff it - I'm just staying home alone and letting them do their own thing. 

These are the sentiments I've heard recently from a few single, elderly female friends in the lead up to Christmas.  

They're hurting and they're tired. They're tired of putting up with toxic relationships because they're related to certain people they didn't choose. 

They're tired of giving and giving and giving - time, money, hospitality, emotional energy - for those who have used and abused them all year, and in previous gatherings, and who give little in return.  

They're tired of pretending, of playing happy families when inside their hearts are broken and gifts feel meaningless.    

They're tired of being given meaningless stuff when what they want and need is real connection and genuine love and to belong to something safe.  

After talking to one of them on the phone about how much she dreads Christmas every year, I realised a few things.  

We don't get to choose our biological family and sometimes we have to choose to say no very firmly and loudly if necessary, to protect our mental health and our children. We're allowed to guard our hearts. We're allowed to want and need genuine love and affection, and we're allowed to spend Christmas with people who love Him and love us.  

We can let Him redeem Christmas, even if it's always been painful.  

Christmas can be redeemed from all those past hurts. We can create new, beautiful, healing memories with those we can call family, because God places us in redemptive family relationships.

Christmas is ultimately about His presence, and we can do Christmas with Him, listing His many gifts to us throughout the year, even if we feel alone on the day.   

......  and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”   Matt 1:23

We can still be in wonder about this Saviour Jesus, like the shepherds who were the first to hear the good news. It doesn't have to be fancy to be amazing and wonderful.   

Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.   Luke 2:20

We can ask the Lord to restore to us the beauty of childhood that was stolen from so many of us. We can learn about the perfect Giver of gifts, the Father of lights, from whom all good things come. We can rejoice in His gifts to us, His heart for us.  

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.   Jam 1:17

We can leave our disappointments about past Christmases at the cross, even if there are many, and we can ask for a new way forward. He always has a way forward when we're ready to walk with Him in it.  

Will You not revive us again,
That Your people may rejoice in You?
7 Show us Your mercy, Lord,
And grant us Your salvation.   Psalm 85:6

We can choose to rejoice and trust Him for meaningful family connections for the year ahead.   

There is so much about our modern Christmas celebrations that is just stuff and fluff, but we can make it mean something if we will ask Him to restore the wonder.  

So this year, I'm hoping that my girls and I can reclaim the wonder of Christmas.    We're currently reading through Ann Voskamp's book,  The Greatest Gift, and adding the tokens to our Christmas tree every day or two.   

I'm also hoping to gather up a few of these hurting souls and together we can try and redeem Christmas - not with stuff - but with real connection and belonging and hopefully some healing.  

Lately, I've had this song on repeat, because it reminds me that the Lord is always turning the broken into beautiful, if we will just let Him have our broken pieces.  

Lord you will rescue
The lost and fallen
You are redeeming
What we have broken
For your great name

Chorus:
Beauty for ashes
The joy to face tomorrow
Heavenly melodies
As silence turns to praise
We'll stand firm
On the God of generations
All for the glory of the King

LET HIM FILL THAT VOID!!

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday, and this week's prompt word is VOID.   

I was arrested by these lines in my quiet time on Sunday morning 

Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?

Or who may stand in His holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,

Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol.................  Psalm 24:3,4

I wanted to keep reading but He asked me to stop there.

Whenever I hear or read these lines, I always default to 'do I have clean hands and a pure heart?'.   I usually beat myself up about not having those, because I know myself.

But that wasn't His focus that morning. 

His focus was on my soul and what I easily lift it to, and what I have lifted it to.

In our modern culture, we don't recognise idols so much.  It's easy to see the idols in the Old Testament, and think how foolish God's people were who lifted up their souls to those things.

But what are we lifting our souls to?  

Nothing in all of creation can fill the void in our souls like He can.    Nothing and no one, regardless of how good it is.   It's His goodness we need in the void in our souls.   

Some of us have lifted our souls (mind, will, emotions, and our hearts) to addictive substances like drugs, alcohol, tobacco and food - yes, food can be an addictive substance.  

Some of us have lifted our souls to busyness, work, achievement, education - some of it for Him.  

Some of us have lifted our souls to relationships, people, people-pleasing - sometimes in the name of love.

Some of us have lifted our souls to fear and what-ifs and worst-case scenarios and needing to be in control.

Some of those things are socially acceptable and even applauded, even in Christian circles.  Some are frowned upon.    And some of those things are not evil in themselves.  Idols often aren't but become idols when they replace Him, and taint our souls.    We need pure hearts, hearts free from worshipping anything other than Him.   

The answer to this ongoing struggle is just a few lines further on.  

He shall receive blessing from the Lord,

And righteousness from the God of his salvation.

This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,

Who seek Your face. Selah   Ps 24:5,6

It's HIM that we need to fill the void in our lives.   It's Him - who He is, in all His goodness and holiness and splendour.   It's the depth and width and length and breadth of the knowledge (a deep knowing) of His love for us.  That's what fills that void, and continues to fill it.  And it's not a one-off thing, but a continual seeking of it.   And that's why it requires us to be people that seek His FACE, not His hands, and to keep seeking His face, even when we get the blessings.   We've been learning about how the Israelites were constantly in this cycle of 'help, God, help!' and then when they got rescued, and restored and blessed, they went back to ignoring Him.   May we not settle for the stuff.   

My girls have asked me many times over the years why we can't see God.   And my answer is fairly simple and maybe not deep enough.   "If we could see Him, meaning if He was a physical being, there would be no room for anything else, including us, because He would fill every void, every space, every inch of the universe.”  

He can and longs to fill every void in us, but He's left the choice up to us.   

So, will we let Him fill the void in us?   Or will we settle for far less, because the lesser things are normal and acceptable and encouraged, even in Christendom?  

It is our individual choice to seek His face and let Him fill the void as He longs to do .  

“Ho! Everyone who thirsts,

Come to the waters;

And you who have no money,

Come, buy and eat.

Yes, come, buy wine and milk

Without money and without price.

Why do you spend money for what is not bread,

And your wages for what does not satisfy?

Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,

And let your soul delight itself in abundance.

Incline your ear, and come to Me.

Hear, and your soul shall live..............   Isaiah 55:1-3

Come to the waters

you who are thirsty 

come and be filled

come and find life

why spend on what won’t satisfy? 

come to the waters

come to the waters

come to the waters

THE WEIGHT OF GUILT

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is WEIGHT.  

Sometimes you don't realise the weight of something you've been carrying until it's gone.   And  you realise how free you are without it, and that you were never meant to carry it.  

Feel it yes.  Know it, yes.  Recognise it, yes.  But not carry it.

Guilt is a heavy weight to carry.  

We are meant to feel guilt, to recognise that we are guilty when we've sinned, and to confess it and receive forgiveness and mercy to move forward.    That must be our response.   

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Heb 4:15,16

We were never meant to carry the weight of that guilt for any length of time.

We often carry the weight of guilt because we think that's what He wants.  He doesn't.  He sent His Son to carry it for us, and finish it.   

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.   Isa 53:5

We often carry the weight of guilt because it makes us feel like some kind of hero so others don't have to carry it.   

Perhaps we carry the weight of guilt because we've been trained to by the significant people in our lives so they don't have to face their own guilt.  

Perhaps we carry the weight of guilt because our belief system says we should or our spiritual leaders have taught us to.   

Recently, the Lord showed me a picture that is making more and more sense as the weeks go on.   

I saw a mud pit, like the ones you see in obstacle courses for military training.   

I saw myself trying to plough through this mud pit but I was stuck - and tired and feeling hopeless. 

It's been weeks of being hit by one trigger after another, and being overwhelmed and drowning in the pain of that.   

It has felt quite endless to be honest.   

But the Lord showed me that the mud pit is filled with guilt - guilt thrown at me, and guilt taken on by me.  

Like mud, guilt sticks and doesn't easily come off.   Like mud, guilt carries weight.   

https://pixabay.com/illustrations/mud-nature-sky-clouds-landscape-8342226/

What to do?     I was trying to sort through the mud, to get some clarity.    That wasn't the answer.   

I decided to just reach out and ask for help.   I don't do that easily.  I like to sort it out myself before I ask for help.   I'm learning.   

I sat with my pastors the other day and we were talking through the latest lot of mud thrown at me - accusations and thoughts from a loved one. 

My lady pastor said something to me that was profound and she thought 'mean' but it wasn't.  It was quite liberating.    It was pointing out the guilt of past failure but not with any condemnation at all, merely recognition of a lack of capacity at the time, and now able to do better.  When we know better, we do better.    When we know Him better, we have His ability to do better.   

The way she handled that meant that I do not have to carry the weight of that failure any longer.    When we acknowledge the filth of the mud, we can then bring it to the only One who can clean us up.  

I can acknowledge it, and I did, but I can move forward with Him, and await His redemptive power in the situation.  

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.

Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”  Isa 44:22

He is our Redeemer.  He longs to redeem any situation but we get so stuck under the weight of past failures and guilt that we don't go to Him for that redemption.  

The guilt is real.  We shouldn't gloss over it.   Too many of us do that with people we're trying to help, but it's not helpful.   Because then we either keep doing something harmful, or we get stuck in guilt because we know in our inner being that we are guilty.   And then we carry the weight of that guilt and can't move forward.  

So, moving forward again.  Without the weight of that long-term guilt, I can see much more clearly the truth of the situation.  Not entirely.    But clarity is slowing coming.  

It's not my job to wade through the mud to try and figure out which bits are justified and what should be carried.   I need not carry any of that weight.    He's already carried it.   

And having been freed from it, I hope to more easily and quickly recognise when that weight starts to come back on, and run straight to His throne.  

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.    Gal 5:1

Hear the shackles breaking free

Hear the song of the redeemed

He is moving, He is moving

He's alive, oh

So take this freedom, take this love

Can you feel it rising up?

He is here, He is here

He's alive, oh-oh

He lives

All honour and power are His

All glory forever, amen

Jesus lives

OUR STORIES MATTER

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is MATTER. 

I spent several hours fiddling with a blog post for last week's prompt word, PRESERVE.   I didn't get it done till today because, well, it's been quite a week.  

I've been telling myself for months to keep quiet about a particular topic, that it doesn't matter, that my perspective on that topic doesn't matter, to just bury it. 

But it does matter.  Lived experience matters.  Our perspective, our story, our insight - it all matters.  

You can read the other blog post here, now that it's published.   It wasn't a five minute job and it took a lot of thought and wrestling to get it down.  

This week, I've had more than one prompt and reminder from the Lord to not remain silent, that my story matters.

So many times I've been silenced by people, mostly Christians, for lots of reasons, and I've silenced myself, to keep the peace, to prevent the fallout, or to keep the trauma buried.  

Psalm 107:2 says, 'Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy'.

In another version it says, 'let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story'.  

How can we talk of the redemption God brings if we can't share the details of the story itself?

Even if our story makes others uncomfortable, or challenges long-held and well-guarded ideals, it matters.    Telling our story helps us, and others, to see the hand of God, in the past and the present.  

But, how, why, when and to whom we share our story also matters.  

How - we need to be careful how we share.    We need to share with wisdom and grace, but also authentically, not pretending it's fine when it isn't. 

But in your hearts set Christ apart [as holy—acknowledging Him, giving Him first place in your lives] as Lord. Always be ready to give a [logical] defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope and confident assurance [elicited by faith] that is within you, yet [do it] with gentleness and respect.   1 Pet 3:15

Why - we need to share it to give Him credit for what He's doing and done, and to remind ourselves of His ongoing faithfulness and power.   Sharing it to justify unforgiveness or bad behaviour, to maintain victim status, or to get attention or to prove a point isn't wise or loving.  

Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will declare what He has done for my soul.   Ps 66:16

When - there is a time to share and a time to be quiet.  It's not always appropriate to share the details, because of the hearers, because of the context, because of the state of our hearts.    Ecclesiastes 3:7 says there is 'a time to keep silence, and a time to speak'.

To whom - Matthew 6:6-7 tells us not to cast our pearls before swine.   Often, we try and convince the wrong people to validate our pain.   Some of them honestly can't see it, or don't want to.   Some of them can only see through black and white lenses; others only want to fix it.   Sharing with the wrong people only adds to the pain and confusion.

But, even with all that in mind, it matters that we share our stories, our perspectives, our snippets of God's working and His redemptive power in our lives.  

It might be that what we share gives someone hope to hang onto, a nugget of truth to replace a lie, a comfort when they're struggling in an area, a light at the end of the tunnel.    A small thing shared at the right time can make a huge difference in someone's life.   Like the boy who shared his fish and loaves, we need to know that in His hands, small things matter, when shared at the right time.

An example of that this week was this beautiful bunch of roses, given to me yesterday by a friend who was responding to the Lord's prompt.    It was an answer to a prayer I've been praying lately, and meant so much more than just the flowers.  Her company was just as precious and reminded me that God sees, that my prayers matter.  

For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.   Matt 6:8

All of the dreams that haven't come true

And all of the hurt that happened to you

It matters, I hope you know it matters

You felt the pain of a bitter defeat

Where the weight of the grief

Is more bitter than sweet

It matters, I'm telling you it matters

To the One who spoke and set the sun ablaze

To the One who stopped the storm and walked the waves

To the One who took the tree so He could say

You matter, I hope you know you matter (matter, matter)

WILL WE PRESERVE, OR WILL WE LET HIM?

It's with some hesitancy that I write this blog post for Five Minute Friday, on the prompt word, PRESERVE.  But I am fuelled somewhat by anger and frustration.   

There is so much that could be written, or not, but in the light of yet another conversation with a woman in a long-term abusive marriage to a 'Christian' man, I'm resisting the urge to be quiet.    It would be easier.  It has been easier.   I have refrained from writing about the bleeding obvious, but it's time I used my writing voice to say what needs saying.    Perhaps it will help someone in a similar situation, or help someone who is hearing it to be more compassionate and to listen before giving black and white answers.   

So many, many Christians, when hearing a desperate plea for help or for prayer from an abused and confused wife (or husband), will tell you things like, 'pray harder, fast, love more, give more, do more, try harder, have more s**, be more available, be more humble, don't point fingers (you're a sinner too), keep forgiving (seventy times seven), deal with your own sin, it's your responsibility to fix it, etc, etc, etc.   These pat answers merely add to the burden of guilt, shame, fear and lies that abused partners already live under.   So many times, Christians don't recognise abuse or want to call it that.

I've had all of those things said to me,  by Christian counsellors and others, and seen it carelessly written so many times on social media pages.   And it makes me angry.   And honestly, sometimes anger is the correct response, if we use it wisely.      The more I have understood my own situation, and heard the stories of many others, the more I realise that anger about abuse is actually a godly response.

Actually, I've been surprised, again and again, at what the Lord has shown me from His Word about how He feels about oppression and verbal violence and abuse.   It's not been me trying to convince Him that it's bad, but rather Him showing me what was wrong and how much damage it's done and why He asked me to get out.  

Be merciful to me, O God, for man would swallow me up;  fighting all day he oppresses me.  Ps 56:1

All day they twist my words; all their thoughts are against me for evil.   Ps 56:5

The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit; he has ceased to be wise and to do good.  Ps 36:3

Let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked drive me away.   Ps 36:11

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.   Col 3:19

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.    Prov 12:18

A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.    Prov 29:22

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.  Prov 15:4

A man's spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?   Prov 18:14

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.   Eph 4:29

And He continues to show me, even as I deal with triggers moving forward, how to reframe my thinking - thinking that has been damaged by being in the place of coercion, dysfunction, fear, and under an atmosphere of rejection and judgement that I lived with for years, decades actually.  

What has all of that to do with the prompt word, preserve?   I have found that too many Christians are more concerned with preserving a 'marriage' than they are about preserving the welfare of those in that 'marriage'.    I have been one of those Christians in the past.

I put the word 'marriage' inside apostrophes, because many Christian women, and some men, are not living in Biblical marriages but rather very dysfunctional, controlling relationships that are damaging in the most obscure and hard-to-define ways.   And while those things are hard for others to see and define, the Lord sees.  He is El Roi, the God who sees.    (Gen 16:13)

Oftentimes, though, as Christians we don't see what He sees and we work so hard to preserve something that we think we must protect, like the institution of marriage, and we ignore the needs of those within that institution.    How many times have Christians tried to protect 'marriage' because it's a Biblical principle, while at the same time, not truly understanding what the Lord meant by it?  How many times have Christians collectively tried to preserve the reputation of the church instead of listening to those who've been abused by members of it?   In Jesus' day, many of the religious leaders tried desperately to preserve their current system, and missed completely the One they were apparently waiting for.   They didn't know the Father and they didn't recognise His Son when He was standing in front of them.   They were quite happy for one man to die to preserve that system.

Then the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered a council and said, “What shall we do? For this Man works many signs.     If we let Him alone like this, everyone will believe in Him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and nation.”  And one of them, Caiaphas, being high priest that year, said to them, “You know nothing at all,  nor do you consider that it is expedient for us that one man should die for the people, and not that the whole nation should perish.”   John 11:47-50

Have we done the same today because of our misunderstanding of what marriage is?  

Marriage is supposed to be two people, equal in value and status, loving and honouring each other, both mere mortals, equally sinful, equally in need of correction and equally in need of being served and loved and cherished. 

When two sinful people love the Lord and each other wholeheartedly, then the marriage is truly preserved and so are the people in it.   It becomes the place where both people can grow and flourish and be that reflection of Christ and His church that it's meant to be.    

Yesterday, I had a conversation with someone who said that marriage is 50/50 but it truly isn't.   Both partners have to be all in,100% each, because if we don't, then someone is carrying more than 100% of the load and that's damaging and unsustainable.

What is the answer when we hear of someone who's struggling in marriage?   The answer is to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry (about someone challenging our systems and beliefs).   

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.   James 1:19

https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/tiny-people-repairing-vulnerable-broken-heart-heart-sensitive-person-breaking-after-failure-relationship-flat-vector-illustration-love-emotions-concept-banner-landing-web-page_23548212.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=0&uuid=e53a05b4-e702-44b2-9373-99436e5c48bb

Will we let Him challenge our status quo, our understanding, our pre-conceived and well-guarded ideas and ideals so we can see what is under our nose?   Or will we stubbornly and arrogantly preserve those systems, structures, ideals, and secrets, even in the face of the suffering of those we could be helping? 

Will we let people share their reality, their truthful version of how it really is and listen without being defensive of 'marriage' or some other system?   Truth and mercy are the only way forward in any situation.   May we be people who want to hear the truth, however confronting and messy it is.    May we be people who give someone a safe place to share what's going on behind closed doors.   

He shall abide before God forever. Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him!   Ps 61:7

Lie number one you're supposed to have it all together

And when they ask how you're doing

Just smile and tell them, "Never better"

Lie number 2 everybody's life is perfect except yours

So keep your messes and your wounds

And your secrets safe with you behind closed doors

Truth be told

The truth is rarely told, now

I say I'm fine, yeah I'm fine oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not

I'm broken

And when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's not

And you know it

I don't know why it's so hard to admit it

When being honest is the only way to fix it

There's no failure, no fall

There's no sin you don't already know

So let the truth be told

I'LL JUST BE QUIET

I am writing for Five Minute Friday and this week's prompt word is SCENE.  

This is the scene that meets me most days, usually in the early morning before too many people are up and about.    

Even on a freezing cold morning, I am here.  

Sometimes, this scene is lit up by the morning sun, or the setting sun.  

 

It's one of my favourite places to be.  

Sometimes, I gather sticks at this scene, to start our fire.

Sometimes, I just walk, listening to worship songs.

Sometimes, I walk fast, kick stones and cry.   

Sometimes, this scene soothes my troubled soul.   There's apparently something about water that soothes the soul and helps us to recalibrate.   Perhaps it's because water reminds us that He is bigger, bigger even than the river.    Perhaps it's because He desires to lead us beside quiet waters.  

He's more powerful than its power.   But He's also calmer than the churning water.   

There's something about His power and the sound of running water that brings calm.     

It helps me get quiet.   

I was back at this scene yesterday, once again battle weary, kicking stones in frustration, frustration with myself mostly.   

I was battle weary, am battle weary.   The enemy has been hammering me lately, once again trying to shut me down, shut me up, keep my mind and emotions in chaos.

I had a dream the night before, a nightmare really, that took me back to a familiar scene, one that was played out many, many times, in past seasons, for different reasons, but always with the same effect - to keep me quiet, shut down, passive, weak, submissive to things not godly.

Turns out that the fear of retribution, punishment, repercussion was behind the chaos.   Sadly, fear is often rooted in real experience, previous trauma, often repeated trauma, so it gets a decent foothold and tends to take over or pop up when you least expect it.   And the enemy knows how to push buttons, stir up a storm, this time with the drama of a lost key.   It all took me to a very dark place that was hard to crawl out of.   

So, I came back to this scene to find solace, and talk to a trusted mentor and friend.   She was able to discern what was behind the chaos, and how to move forward.   

It's time to trust what I'm hearing from Him, even if it doesn't align with what I've been told and trained to believe, even what I've told myself about myself - for years.    

And it's time to stand up for what's right, to do what's right, to do it afraid, if necessary.   

It's time to stand my ground, to believe what He says, and let Him fight the battles that ensue when I stand my ground.  

So, while the battle rages around me and often within me, I will come back to this scene often and get quiet with Him, and remember who He is - even the winds and the waves obey Him!! 

But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy.    And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!”

Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm.     But He said to them, “Where is your faith?”

And they were afraid, and marvelled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!”  Luke 8:23-25   

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul,

Like a weaned child with his mother;

Like a weaned child is my soul within me.  Psalm 131:2

Here, we go again my mind, racing

And I can't seem to win

All these crazy thoughts and feelings

It's like it never ends

Until Your voice, breaks through my noise

I know I'm not alone, I'm not alone

You will fight my battles, if I will just be still

Why would I keep running, when You're right here?

I'll just be quiet

Let You speak through the silence

Here I am, no more hiding

You are, in this moment, I won't fight it

I'll be quiet

Away with the distractions

I wanna hear what's true

The only words that matter

They come from You

I WILL MAKE ROOM FOR HIS TRUTH

When you're a strong person, like this tree, people tend to look to you, look at you, when something isn't right, when things fall apart.

And sometimes they make up a narrative to explain the why and the how of it.  

And sometimes, like this tree, you stand there and take that because you think you should.  

And you lose your leaves and your colour and your health because you've accepted for too long the sole responsibility that wasn't meant for your shoulders alone.   In an attempt to love people and make their lives easier, you've accepted their loads.  

But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.  For each one shall bear his own load.   Gal 6:4,5

This tree is painted blue as part of the Blue Tree Project in Australia to help people acknowledge their mental health problems, like depression and anxiety, and to help others understand and help them.    These trees are dotted all over the country and often carry small signs to point people to support networks.   

But I do wonder how many of us, who are depressed and anxious, are carrying shame and guilt that's not ours to carry, but handed to us, thrown at us, spoken over us, because somebody else didn't want to, or doesn't want to, accept their responsibility.  

God wants to make for each one of us a yoke of responsibility to carry that fits us perfectly - not one that pulls us down or wears us out.    It's not ours to carry alone because He wants to carry it with us.  But it is ours to carry and  He waits for us to surrender to His yoke for us.  

Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.   

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.   

For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.   Matt 11:28-30

But I suspect we let other people make yokes for us so their burdens are lighter.   Or add bits to our yokes to make their yoke more comfortable and less challenging.  

God has a yoke for each one of us to carry that His grace enables us to carry, as we walk in step with Him.  

It is not our job to make yokes for others, nor to make their load heavier by adding our blame, shame and guilt when things are obviously broken.  

He has shone His light on some lies and shadows in my thinking this week, and I have discovered that the yoke He made for me is not the one I've been carrying.    And things are finally starting to make sense.  

This morning, as I've walked along the edge of the river, He has shone His light into the shadows and dispelled the lies and half truths that have been weighing me down.

So I will make room for His truth, because that sets me free to do only what He requires of me.  Nothing more, nothing less.   That is my required worship.  Everything else is wood, hay and stubble.

God has spoken once, 

twice I have heard this: 

That power belongs to God.  

Also to You, O Lord, belongs mercy.    

For You render to each one according to his work.    Psalm 62:11,12

And as I make room for His truth, I will thrive instead of looking like this tree, that is planted by the river, but not doing well.  

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes;

but its leaf will be green 

and will not be anxious in the year of drought, 

nor will cease from yielding fruit.    Jer 17:8

Here is where I lay it down

Every burden, every crown
This is my surrender this is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
Every lie and every doubt
This is my surrender

… And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, oh