What's In a Name?

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.    John 15:13-15

Jesus called us 'friends'.  I wonder what that really means?

He talked about servants and masters, students and teachers, fathers and sons and daughters, but in the end, He called us, and calls us, His friends. 

Why?  I'm not sure and I haven't taken the time to study the original meaning of what He said.  
I have often wondered. 

It's something that started a few years ago when I was struggling with some relationships that just weren't 'working'.  I had put a lot of effort into these 'friendships' and nothing was improving.  It seemed pretty one-sided to me and there was confusion on both ends. 

I was incredibly frustrated - and hurt.

But God.     But God stepped in and showed me something about friendship and why these relationships weren't working for me, or for them, really.   

You see, a friend is your equal, someone you need in your life, and someone who needs you.   You share stuff and you minister to each other, as friends, not because one is superior, but because you take turns holding each other up - physically, in prayer, practically.

Ministry, well that's another thing entirely.   You see, the people I wanted to be friends with saw me as a ministry.  They felt sorry for me, they saw a need in  my life and they tried to meet it in their various giftedness.  But they didn't see me as a friend, as their equal, as someone they needed.   Sure, the word 'friend' was used, but it wasn't what it was.   They were my brothers and sisters in the church, but we weren't friends because they didn't need me, couldn't possibly see how they could.   It wasn't a two-way thing.   And I felt I wasn't good enough - perhaps that's not how they saw it.  And now, looking back, I can see that isn't and wasn't true, even if they thought so.   

But friend, that's different.   Very different - and  I have a few precious ones.  They don't look down and I'm not their newest ministry project or the way they get their value.  My friends struggle and groan and cry and I help support and pray and listen.  And they do the same for me when it's my turn.    They don't look down on me and I don't look down on them.  We're all doing the journey and we need friends - just friends.    

But just like a stay-at-home Mum is not just a Mum, but so much more, neither is a friend just a friend.  The blessing of having a friend who is just that - a friend - is truly something to savour. 

STOP - Linking up at Five Minute Friday, where we write for 5 minutes on a prompt word.  Today's prompt is 'friend'. 

One of the biggest lessons in this came when God rebuked me sharply about my relationship with someone I was trying to minister to.  I was ministering to her out of the same attitude that was causing me pain and offence when it was coming to me from others.  And those others were doing that very thing to her as well.   Well, God pulled me up big time, and I had to go and apologise.  But well before the apology, God changed my perspective and my attitude and the relationship with this amazing person - and to a lesser degree, with her hubby.  

I could see her, someone not much older than my oldest daughter, as inferior, as not knowing much, as having nothing to offer me, as someone who 'needed' my superior wisdom and 'grace' and correction.    That was the pervading attitude at the time from us older women in the church.   But, when God stepped in and showed me that I could and should relate to this person as an equal, and when I chose to do that, I was blessed to find that there was a great deal on offer in this new relationship.  I was blessed by her, not just the other way around.  She had, and still has, so much to offer and she was and is such a gracious, empathetic, giving person, that I am truly blessed to have her on my rather short friend list.    She has been my late-night 'rantee' many times, my sounding board, my prayer warrior and an all round great listener.    We don't see each other much in real life, but we 'chat' online often. 

I find myself very grateful for that rebuke because I would have missed out on a great deal and done a great deal of damage in the process. 

This is my friend, the friend I nearly missed out on, because I was so busy trying to 'minister' to her.

"...but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."    Prov 18:24

When Someone Reads Your Mail

Years ago, when we first started learning about the value of spiritual gifts and receiving words of knowledge, my husband adopted a phrase he heard, probably from John Wimber - 'when someone reads your mail'. 

Mail is pretty private, really, when it comes right down to it, whether it's a personal letter or a bank statement, an invitation or a bill.   We don't really appreciate someone reading our mail, do we?  I don't.   

The contents of our mail can say a lot about us, and I guess that's why police and other investigators use it as evidence in courts of law, and why we can use it to prove our identity or facts about us.

But sometimes, just sometimes, God lets someone read our mail.     And if it is God, and they are listening to Him, and careful to obey Him, those sometimes can be powerful turning points in our lives.  

I like to keep my private stuff mostly private, and pick who I share it with.   Maybe you're the same.  So, I don't always appreciate God telling someone else what is going on in my life.    But on those occasions where He has, and where that person has been brave enough to say so, and mature enough to handle it well, I've been blessed and set free from something. 

You see, hidden stuff is the devil's playground and he loves to mess with the stuff going on in our heads and hearts.    We only get deeper and deeper into our mess when we keep that stuff hidden.   His plan is to mess, destroy, steal, kill and to keep us in his playground.  

And God likes to expose hidden stuff, not to hurt or shame us, but to free us from the devil's playground, to be playing and living somewhere that's light and safe and nourishing, and encouraging others to do the same. 

Which is why words of knowledge and wisdom can be very powerful tools in God's toolbox, and ours, to help people get free of stuff. 

One day, someone 'read my mail' and prayed for me in a way that was much more effective than anything anyone else was trying.  He saw what was going on in my life, its source (judgement from those over me) and how to pray for it.   I went from being able to barely breathe or function, and falling asleep at 11am every morning, to functioning normally, almost instantly.  

Another time a friend 'read my mail' and saw behind the obvious problem to the real issue, led me to a place of repentance, and once again, I was instantly healed.  

These are just two examples of times when God has allowed someone to read my mail and where they have listened and obeyed.  One time, the affliction was from an outer source; the other time, from my own bitterness and angst.   In one case, it was from a friend; in another case, from someone I'd never met.    

And there have been many times in private conversation with a trusted friend where God has done the same thing - insight into the pain behind the obvious, and words from God on how to move forward.

How healing is a timely word. 

He came that we might have life, and live it abundantly, not in the devil's playground, but in a playground built for us.    He came for us to get free and stay free. 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  John 10:10

Linking up with Five Minute Friday - a writing party happening every Friday where we write for five minutes on a given prompt.  This week's prompt is 'mail'. 

Who's Testing Me?

Sometimes, life feels like a giant test - a test that you can't pass, a test that's designed to make you look and feel like a failure, that's designed to keep you down, to make you feel silly, to bring you down and keep you there.  

How much more work can someone pile on your plate before you run out of strength?   How much more pain can you endure before you can't take it any more?  How many more mental games can you navigate before you finally crack?   How many more times can you get it wrong?   How much can you keep giving before there's nothing left to give?    How often can you bounce back up when you're knocked down?    How much testing can one person endure before something is broken? 

Sounds like the enemy's work to me.   He comes to steal, kill and destroy.    His plan is to break us, to break our trust, break our strength, break our hearts.  

But, God is good, and I've learnt that believing anything else is a dangerous place to be when you're in a test of any kind.  Whether it's God-made, man-made, enemy-made, or, as is often the case, a combination of the afore-mentioned, mixed with consequences of my sin and/or someone else's, God is the only sure footing.   Sometimes, a determined belief in and experience of the goodness of God is the only comfort in the test, and should be added to a listening ear, to hear HIS perspective on the test and its source and its purpose. 

One of the hardest parts in the middle of the test is believing and knowing that God isn't out to break us, bring us down, keep us down, belittle us, make us feel or look small.   That's not what His tests are designed to do.    His tests are designed to make us shine!  

This little rose plant is the same as in the picture above!   Only God can make us shine like that! 

The Bible says God tests us and that the testing of our faith is good for us.   

  
Don't know about you, but severe and constant testing doesn't feel 'good' at all to me.  

Something I learned in the first round of homeschooling, that was a revelation to me, because of my schooling and my upbringing, is that tests should NOT be used to shame and belittle, but to help the student to learn something, see a weakness and work towards fixing it, build knowledge, make room for growth.  They also shouldn't be the main part of education - so foreign to how I'd been tested.   And testing to a high standard is good, because otherwise we never pass the test or move on to another one - we're stuck at that level of knowledge, maturity, growth and with it, frustration and apathy. 

I'm so glad that God's testing is always motivated by His mercy, in its many forms, and not by pride, superiority, insecurity, perfectionism or other traits that have been inherent in my human testers.

  
Did you know that the silversmith knows that the silver is at its purest when he can finally see his reflection in it?

And did you know that the gardener is never as close to his roses as when he's pruning them? 

God's testing is up close and personal, not like the tests handed out in big high school auditoriums,  or by an enemy who views us with disdain or someone who is insecure and needs us to be 'down there'.    And with God, we don't have to pull back when the results aren't great - the results don't surprise Him, though they often surprise us.   

So, note to self, once again, trust God's goodness in the test, don't assume it's all Him, and listen to His still, small voice in the storm - it's there.  

Psalm 51: 10- 12    Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.   Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.   Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, where we write for five minutes on a given prompt.   This week's prompt word is 'test'. 

Photos courtesy of our friend, Suzy.  

Five Miracles and Five Privileges

Once upon a time, there were three little girls and their sad little Mummy.   Not sad because there were three of them, nor because they were girls, but because they were growing out of being little and there were no more coming behind them.    I always felt we were supposed to have five children, and yet all that was happening was one miscarriage after another, usually in the early stages.   

After yet another miscarriage, this time at ten weeks, just after we moved to the farm, I finally went to the doctor and she suggested some tests.    She ran the tests and called me in to make an appointment.  Out in the waiting room, my ever-growing little girls played in the toy section, and I waited to hear my results.  She started with a strange question.

'Those three little girls out there - they are yours, aren't they?'  

'Yes, they are - you were my doctor for one of them, remember.'

'Well, it's just that these genetic and other tests show that it's physically and genetically impossible for you to stay pregnant long enough to have a healthy baby.   You need to go home and enjoy the ones you do have, though it's beyond me how that happened.  And don't start with the God-stuff - you know where I stand on that!'   

So I went home, sad and grateful.   Sad that there would be no more, and grateful that God had performed three miracles that science couldn't account for.

After a time of grieving any future possibilities, God showed me very clearly that I needed to change my attitude and find contentment in who my girls were at their various ages and stages.  

Contentment is a hard thing to choose when you're pretty sure the status quo isn't going to change.  It's one thing to be content for the time being, with the hope of future possibilities.    But it's quite another thing to choose contentment when this is all there is. 

But I did choose contentment and I found a new appreciation for the girls, and their ages and stages, and a new appreciation for each of them for who they were, and not just part of my mothering dream.    I realised that while I was pining for another baby and then another, I wasn't loving well the ones I  had already been given.   So, I chose contentment and it brought me a great deal of freedom from many things. 

But, I pretty much gave up on my dream of five children.

But, many years later, we were surprised with another miracle and another privilege.   By this time, my older girls were 16, 13 and 11 and they were pretty convinced I was either pregnant or had a brain tumour!!   They were relieved to find out I was 14 weeks pregnant.    We welcomed Raelee Rose the following May, and a few years later, we welcomed Abigail Eloise, 21 years, almost to the day, after her oldest sister was born. 

I had my five, the number I always thought I'd have, with doctors still sprouting their negativity and their disbelief and their worst-case scenarios, 'You need to have an abortion, you're too old, you need to get over yourself and get a life, this will happen and that will happen, ....... blah, blah, blah.' 

Well, here I am, the mother of five miracles and five privileges.     I am still trying to get a current photo of all five girls in the one place at the one time.    One day!   This one was taken when Abi was just a few days old. 

And these are our two youngest miracles now.  

And on the hard days of parenting and sleep-deprivation, I need to remember my story of five - and the privilege that I have been given.   For many of us, conception and pregnancy and birth are not a given - it's not that easy.  

But for all of us, regardless of how 'easy' it is, our children are a privilege and we do well to remember it, on the hard days and the good days.   

Children are not just the fulfilment of our dream - they are a gift from God and a heritage - a huge privilege. 

Psalm 127:3  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Linking up with other writers at Five Minute Friday, a writing party on a given prompt.  Today's prompt word is 'five'.  

To Listen is to Love

I was thinking about the word listen as I sat near a bonfire at our house, not really able to do much thinking because I was watching two little people near a large bonfire and listening to their many, many questions and comments.  

But, these were the thoughts that came to me. 

To listen takes time, real time, not watching-the-clock time.

To listen takes quietness of soul, peace to know that the hard stuff is not yours to keep, but His to handle.

To listen takes security, security of soul that you don't have to agree or submit to someone else's opinion nor defend yourself, that He decides who you are and your worth.

To listen takes courage, courage to hear what's hard and unpleasant and unfiltered.

To listen takes strength, strength to stay and hear stuff that hurts the speaker to say, and maybe the listener to hear.

To listen takes gentleness, the kind of gentleness that doesn't have an agenda or a harsh answer. 

To listen takes humility, the kind of humility that doesn't judge or pity, but embraces and comforts and gives hope. 

To listen takes wisdom, wisdom to know there is a time to speak and a time to be quiet. 

To listen takes patience, the patience to hear all that needs to be said, not jumping in at the first quiet moment. 

To listen is to hear someone's heart, a privilege being offered, but it takes a lot of listening to get there, through the fluff and stuff that we are so used to saying because we rarely find a true listener.

To listen is a gift, a rare gift, but one that makes a huge difference in little ways.  

To really listen is to love.   

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.  James 3:13

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, where we write for five minutes on a given prompt.  This week's prompt is 'listen'. 

Staying on the Road!

This is our road, the one that I've slid along too many times these past few weeks.   It's not a path, as such, but it's a road God has used to teach me some things about staying on the path He sets for us.    This road has ruts in it and when it's wet, you better stay in those ruts, because otherwise you go sliding all over the road and end up in the drain.    The roads with ruts are actually better than the ones without, because at least there is something keeping you on the crest of the road and not sliding sideways towards the drain.   My path might not be straight, but I do like to stay on the road!   

I do not look forward to driving on this road when it's wet.    My husband does this stuff for a living and doesn't mind it;  young people we've had here have found it fun and challenging and exciting.  Not me.  I just want an easy drive and a quick one.   I don't want to struggle or suffer or be challenged and I don't like sliding sideways - fast or slow!   

Sometimes the path God chooses for us, or perhaps we've inadvertently chosen for ourselves, is a lot like this road.  It doesn't feel like a good place to be, or fun, or the right fit for us, or comfortable, or helpful.     And it's hard to stay on that path, even though we know it's where God has us right now.   

And it's hard to keep steering and keep moving forward on that path, because it's difficult and tedious and tiring and sometimes all-consuming.   It takes all our emotional and mental energy to just keep moving forward, albeit ever so slowly and not give up or turn back.   You can't turn around on our road - you're stuck, which is probably just as well, 'cause it's taught me to keep going!  You either keep poking along and eventually get there, or get bogged trying, or you give up and sit in the middle of the road, which makes the journey that much harder, because once your vehicle has lost its momentum, however tedious and slow that is, it is very hard to get going again. 

Of course, driving on a road for 30-40 minutes in these conditions is different to being on a difficult path for months or even years at a time, but I've done that too and some things feel much the same to me.   It's hard and depressing and you can dread it the whole way through, with your hands stuck so tight to the wheel you have to peel them off at the end.   Or you can relax just a little, but keep steering, keep moving, keep going forward while you keep trusting and submitting your ways to His, keep acknowledging Him, and keep believing that He cares, He's there, He's working on it, He's helping in real ways, unseen ways.  

In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.   Proverbs 3:6.

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, a party of writers who write on a given prompt every Friday.  Today's prompt word is 'path'. 

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How Loyal Are You?

I took this picture of the moon last week. 

It's pretty impressive - the moon, that is.   It really lit up the  darkness for a few nights and made it hard to sleep.  The dogs barked all night because they could see things running around.   The sheep were noisier than usual - perhaps there were more predators out and about on those nights.

It lit up a place that is normally dark - being 40km from town lights, it gets pretty dark here at night when the lights are out.

You're probably wondering what on earth the moon has to due with being loyal, right?  Well, the moon reminds me a bit of undue loyalty.    It looks pretty impressive and it is - a huge great ball in the sky, but it doesn't have any light of its own - it is merely reflecting the sun's light back to us on earth.  

Now look at this picture of the moon taken just an hour or so earlier.

It doesn't look quite so bright, does it?    It isn't quite so impressive in the light of the sun shining.   And the sun was shining behind me, in the west, as it was slowly setting.
 
And you know it reminds me of the something that happened this week, where a person was being incredibly loyal to her hubby, unduly loyal, at the cost of integrity, and her sons' respect, and that of others too.    Her hubby is her source of wisdom and 'light' and the reference point for her value and her values.   He is the light in her dark place.    But she doesn't realise just how poor his light is in comparison to the Son, the Son who values her regardless of how she performs or looks, regardless of how much money they have or how 'well-bred' they are or the car they drive or their other status symbols.    I felt sorry for her, even though in being loyal to him she disappointed us and refrained from doing what was right.   And it was obvious that she was refraining and being restrained, though not physically - her loyalty was restraining her.   

We're not meant to be loyal to someone on this earth above God and His ways. 

Jesus had some things to say about being loyal to Him above all else, and all others.

It reminds me, again, of how much liberty there really is in having God in His rightful place in our lives.   When the light of His Word, His truth, His very presence shines in our lives, then we know that we must be loyal to Him first for anything and everything else to  make sense.   I have seen and felt the damage, firsthand, when we are, I am, loyal to a person or a theology or group or doctrine above being loyal to Him.   It's like living in the light of the moon, all the time, and not realising there even is a sun. 

He made both the sun and the moon and He is greater than both.  I don't want loyalty to anyone or anything else to turn my day into night, not any more.   

Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of HIM.   Psalm 33:8

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, a writing party where we get to write for five minutes on a prompt word.  Today's prompt is 'loyal'.  

Team Work

Last night, I was watching some of the Olympics reporting, while I read in front of the fire.
I watched a short segment about the Australian Men's Basketball team.  Now, I don't follow basketball, at all, so I know very little about it, but I watched with interest as this team of guys did something amazing.  No, it wasn't winning their game or a medal.    They lost their game against Serbia, even though they were the favourites.  So now they can fight it out against Spain for the bronze medal.    It's a big deal over here, apparently.  

I love this comment from an online news report, and I guess this sums up what makes this team work well, though he acknowledges other factors as well.
'....a team-wide willingness to find the open man has contributed to Australia’s tournament-leading field goal percentage.'

Now, I don't really understand basketball, but I understand that no one person is carrying the load, no one person is getting all the big shots and all glory, no one person is doing all the big stuff but together they're trying to win their game.   And apparently it's what is helping them to shine. 

But, what  caught my interest about this team is how unified they were as a team and what they did in a remote, Aboriginal community in a bonding exercise.   Of course, whether they win that medal will be all over the news for the next week or so (their match is Monday morning, AEST), so we won't know for a few days.   There will no doubt be criticism or applaud and probably both, as there already is.    

But what they did as a team in that Aboriginal community makes me proud of them, as an Aussie.     They went there to bond together, to help their team, but also to help out the community in practical and philosophical ways.  They fixed up the basketball courts so the kids could play on them again, and they encouraged and inspired some young people to reach higher  and look beyond their circumstances.   You can read about it here.

And when I look at the Olympic rowers in their boats, I am reminded that if they didn't all work together and head in the same direction, it would look ridiculous and they would invariably lose their races.   I guess it would be pretty obvious in something like a rowing contest. 

So, I guess team work is about all wanting the same thing and be heading in the same direction and for no one person to be carrying the load or needing to get all the glory.   

So, when I see a team falling apart (a marriage, a church, an organisation, a home school family), I wonder if perhaps one person is carrying too much, trying to do too much or perhaps one person is getting/needing/wanting the glory, or perhaps they don't know where they're headed or why or how to fix it. 

Praise God He sets the standard for what makes a team work well. 

Philippians 2:1-9   So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him.

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, where we write for five minutes on a prompt word.  Today's word is 'team'. 

AT REST IN HIS HAPPY PLACE

Oh, to be a dog, eh?  This is our gorgeous dog, Kaelen.  He is a pure-bred kelpie, bought and trained from a pup by our second-oldest daughter Anna.  He has a pedigree.   He was bred for a purpose.  He was brought here for a purpose.  His purpose here is to help us move sheep around and move them through the yards.  But, most of the time, he doesn't do that, because there isn't that much sheep work to do here.  So, his happiest moments are when he's flying through the air, chasing a tennis ball.   His eyes glow and his body is agile and he is alive!!   He spends hours sitting, sometimes staring at me through the kitchen window, begging me with his eyes to come and play.  And when I do, he's so happy.  He loves long runs around the farm, following after a motorbike or vehicle, but his happy place is chasing that ball.  

What is your happy place?   Is it just when you are fulfilling the purpose for which you were signed up to whatever role you play in life?   Or is it when you are enjoying yourself and enjoying the company of those who love you and whom you love?  

I look at my mother who, sadly, has spent her whole life trying to make others happy, and at this late stage in her life, she feels like a massive failure because they are often unhappy, but the failure isn't hers.  It's theirs.   It was never her purpose to make them happy, not in God's eyes.  Her purpose, the reason He thought of her, designed her, created her, was to enjoy Him and enjoy herself.    She doesn't know that.   She thinks she's here on this earth to make people happy and to constantly miss out and let go and forego to keep them that way.  But the people she's trying to make happy have choices to make, and the choices they make mean they will never be happy.   Because for them to be happy means to exalt themselves and to have their own way, all the time.    That is NOT happy.   They are not happy and the people they 'love' are not happy.

I wonder what makes God happy?   And He's not someone who needs to have it all His own way to be happy.  He is happy when we are living a full life, a life overflowing with the goodness He first placed in this world.   He is happy when we make good choices, right choices, holy choices, and when we choose happy for ourselves, a happy not based on our circumstances, but grounded in our hearts.   A happy that starts in our hearts, founded on knowing His love and being grateful to Him and confident in Him, in the midst of any circumstance.   A happy that starts and stays in fearing Him above all others, wanting to bring Him happy (pleasure), not appeasing someone else.

I've just recently read some of John Bevere's thoughts on fearing the Lord, and I found this verse:  

 
The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied  Proverbs 19:23

Are we satisfied and happy in Him?   Are we at rest, happy that we bring Him pleasure, make Him happy above all else, above everyone else?   Have we found the ultimate happy that He offers - to delight in Him as He delights in us. 

Linking up with Kate Motaung at Five Minute Friday, where the prompt word for today is 'happy'.

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Content To Be Hidden?

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, where we write for 5 minutes on a given prompt.   Today's prompt is 'hidden'. 

The word 'hidden' took me back, instantly, to a poem I wrote a few years ago for a struggling friend. 
Since that time, she very graciously sent it back to me when I was struggling with similar issues. 

So, I'll share it with you and perhaps it will help you too. 


THE ROSE

I saw in a garden, in a quiet, little place
A rose red as scarlet, full of beauty and grace
Why is it there?   For whom does it grow?
Does anyone see it?  Will anyone ever know?

Why has the gardener planted it there?
Does anyone notice, will anyone care?
Is it enough for the gardener to know?
To enjoy its beauty, and see that it grows?

It seemed such a waste, for its beauty not to be seen
By the rest of the world, like some hidden-away queen
There in a garden, a beautiful gem,
Growing lovely and strong, but only for Him.

But then I saw Him, and saw the joy on His face,
As His rose grew there, in that secret place.
I saw His delight and the love in His eyes,
as He pruned and adored His beloved prize.

This prize was a gift, redeemed by His Son,
Who'd hung on that cross, till the victory was won.
To His Father, He gave His life just for this
To buy back this gem, and present it to Him.

Had it been bruised, was it limp and forlorn?
How much had He pruned it, to bring it back to its form?
How much love had He spent to bring it around,
To the way that it looked, to be the gem that I'd found?

There in the garden, in that quiet, secret place,
Under His gaze, receiving His grace,
For whom, Christ in His passion, paid the ultimate price
It got me to wondering, it made me think twice.

Am I content to be, is it enough for me
To be a rose that only You will see?
There's so much I could do for You, in some other place
Is it enough for me to be here, under Your gaze?

Will I let You prune me, to bring me around
Allow You to form me, like the gem that I found?
If nobody ever sees, and nobody ever knows,
am I content, just to be, Your hidden, scarlet rose?

Photo courtesy of our dear friend, Suzy, who loves roses and other flowers, and for whom roses have been a symbol of God's faithfulness in her life. 

How Do I Help You?

Sometimes, I see a friend struggling and I know their issues are many and complex and there is no easy fix.   But I want to help in some way.   

When there is no easy fix, just how do I help?   Especially when I feel so helpless in the face of the struggle that is both in front of them and what's already behind them, pulling them down and making them feel not only helpless, but  hope-less.  

When a person is sinking and stuck in a pit that they really cannot climb out of alone, what help do I offer?   Sometimes that pit is of their own making; oftentimes it isn't.  Either way, they need to get out of there, and they need help to do that.

But, right now, I am at a loss to know how to help that person get out of that pit and stay out.   It's not enough to help them out.    They need to know and want to stay out - when the pit is their 'normal'. 

I think of our youngest daughter, a few years ago now, learning to crawl.    How did I help her learn to crawl?  I couldn't keep rescuing her.   She had to learn to go forwards, not backwards.

And so I am led to 'just' pray. 

And that is exactly where God has led me - to 'just' pray.  I have exhausted my theories and ideas and most of my encouragement, because this person needs more. 

They need Him, His very real help, just like the people  who encountered a very real Jesus as He walked this very real earth with all its pits.   So many had exhausted their options, or their friends and family had exhausted their encouragement and help.   They just needed His touch. 

So, I pray.    And in the praying I unleash a help that no pit can withstand, even if I can't see what exactly is going on down there.   But I don't need to see.  I just need to pray, and pray believing and knowing that Jesus knows exactly how to help, that by 'just' praying I am helping in the most powerful way I can.

For this reason I kneel before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you (struggling friend) with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  Eph 3:17-20

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, where we write for five minutes on a given prompt.  Today's prompt is 'help'.

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To Create is a Privilege

In the beginning, God created...........
I like to create things, and I try to do that regularly, just for my own sanity's sake. Otherwise, life is a bit mundane, really.

And create is different to make. People make things in a factory. Other people get the privilege to create - something new and interesting and original.
But the word 'create' really helps me to remember something awesome about God.
See, when I create something, like these stories I create for Raelee, 7, as part of her learning to read book, I use what someone else has supplied - pictures (from mycutegraphics.com).

But when God created, He just spoke and there it was.
When I create, I put ideas down on paper to help her use new sounds in context.
But when God created, He created the ideas, not just where to put them and how.
When I create, I put words on a page in a different order to last time, to create a new story.
But when God created, He was the Word!!

When I create, I choose colours and style and the way something will work best, with an already established order. But when God created, He established that order, from which all things make sense.
And He gives us the privilege to create - in music, in art, in media, in written form, in fabric, in wood, etc.

But may we never, ever forget that we merely create with what has already been given to us and privileged to us, that no matter how very clever and creative we are, the source of our creativity and the source of all those resources, is Him.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. John 1:2

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A Million Plastic Cups

by Kath

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Prov 14:1

My 7 year old daughter was just talking about building a huge tower out of plastic cups. She wants to know how high you could make it with a million paper cups. Mmm. I wonder. And how much would it cost? I don't know. I could do the maths, but I don't think she wants a real answer, just a relative one. A million features in a lot of her questions at the moment. Just how high could you build a tower with a million plastic cups?

  I remember when she was three and she was constantly building things out of plastic cups or old videos. This was her effort at three, and she was pretty proud of being able to do this all by herself, after watching a teenage friend do it.  It made me think of how we build our homes. Sometimes, it feels like we need a million plastic cups and that we are constantly building and what we're building is constantly in danger of being knocked down or blown over. And the cost can be pretty overwhelming, especially the personal cost, money aside, because let's face it, money just isn't what we use to build our homes with, though it can help with.

We need love and wisdom and patience and humility and grace and truth and we need them all in abundance and we need them to be real and strong and true and to come from Him if they are going to stand. And we need to keep putting them out there, like putting up plastic cups that keep falling down. And we find ourselves so drained and so tired and so lacking in these building blocks.

  Some things that jump out for me is that building has to be intentional, it has to be done against the pull of gravity (or sinfulness) and we need to learn how to do it from others. I guess that's where the online community is very helpful. But we also need in-real-life builders to emulate, those whose cups seem to be staying put, people we can observe making it work. Building can be fun, but I guess we take it all a bit too seriously at times.

We can do it our own way, but we still have to follow the basic principle of building on something solid - no Someone solid. I am reminded that unless He is the builder and we are just His helpers, and unless He is the glue that holds our stack together, it will be shaky at best and eventually come crashing down around our ears - maybe not this year or even next, but eventually it will. Like building your house on the sand, it will happen. The storms DO come and they show us what our stack of cups is really made of and whether we built it on Him and with Him and in Him, or whether something else is down there.

Unless the Lord builds the house, the builder labours in vain.

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Did You Lose Something?

'Did you lose something?', someone asked, as I had my head in the fridge. 
Yes, actually I did.  
But, that statement reminded me of something else I did lose, something much more important than what I was looking for in the fridge, and something I chose to lose, because of the choice I was offered.
It wasn't much of a choice, but I finally had to make it, after many years of 'playing the game' the way we always had, the way I thought was normal, the way he had dictated, the way I thought it was okay for him to ask.
I had to choose between my father and my mother, knowing that I would lose a great deal, and indeed I did.
I did lose - his approval, his agreement, his presence in our home, my reputation at his  hands with both of my brothers and their families and his associates in the small town I grew up in - in other words, his 'love'.  
I chose to lose all that, because he had made me choose - between him and my mother. 
If I wanted to stay in an amiable relationship with him, I had to agree with him, I had to side with him in their arguments, I had to decide against Mum in major decisions that affect her life and health, I had to be party to his schemes, I had to be silent as he profaned my Father's name, as he undermined my husband's authority and our Christian values, I had to be silent while he constantly and insidiously  ridiculed and demeaned my mother in front of others.  
So, one day I had to choose to lose,  and I said as much - 'don't make me choose, Dad'.   It was like a red flag to a bull - he pushed me to that edge, thinking I would back down, like I always had before.  
But not this time.   This time, I chose to lose all that he offered, and my mother finally was able to recognise that she was worth something.   Something let go -  a stronghold that has governed my childhood family since we were old enough to choose between him and her. 
But in the losing, I was free to love  my mother sacrificially. 
And in the losing, I have found a love for him that isn't dependent on his love for me, or being able to admire him, or agree with him, or be able to depend on him in any way.
And I hope and pray that one day, when he's done 'playing the game', he will realise WHY I did choose to lose -  that he will see Mum's worth, and his own, that it isn't dependent on getting his own way.
And I hope and pray that one day he will recognise what Jesus chose to lose on his behalf - a great deal, in life and in death.  
And it makes me pray even harder for a man I love but for the time being have chosen to 'lose'. 
And it makes me realise that Jesus loses people He so wants desperately to keep, but that it is their choice.    
Matthew 16:26   And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?
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I'm Tired of Wanting

Linking up at Five Minute Friday, an online community of writers who write every Friday for five minutes on a given prompt. 

Today's prompt is 'want'.

I'm tired of wanting.  

I'm tired of hearing 'I want................',  'I want that',  'I don't want to'.

I have been staying in my oldest daughter's house for over a month now, waiting for her to have bub number 2, and trying to be of some help.   My toddler is three and a half, and her toddler is nearly three, and the dynamics of two toddlers and two mothers in the same space is interesting, to say the least.  

They spend so much of their time wanting something from their mums, most of the time very definitely and loudly, with body language to match.  And they often want the same thing at the same time, even though they didn't want it until the other one had it.

The other day, they were both sitting at the table wanting, wanting, wanting while we prepared food.  We were both trying, very patiently, at the end of yet another long day of wanting, to gently encourage them and teach them and remind them to stop wanting and just ask, nicely, for something and then to wait - patiently.   But, they were doing more than just wanting something they 'needed'.   They were competing and wanting something just because the other one had it or suggested it or was not allowed to have it.   It was driving us nuts! 

And I got to thinking, that toddlers aside and our need to persevere with them, I wonder how God feels about His children constantly wanting and demanding and being jealous of each other.    We know what our girls want and need and we do our best to meet real needs, including the need to stop wanting.   We often separate them and take them aside, to reconnect and reassure and let them know that we haven't forgotten them, and to get their focus off each other and onto their primary relationship with us. 

And we can and should do that, because they're little and they need us, even though they may protest loudly or they may go willingly.  It's our job to make that reconnect happen.

But, it's up to US to reconnect with God when we find ourselves wanting, wanting, wanting - what someone else has been blessed with, or just because we see something and suddenly feel so discontent without it.  

Psalm 23:1 says, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.'   I know the word 'want' there means more than our modern word want, but it is talking about needs being met and about contentment.  

It's so childish of our children to squabble amongst themselves and whinge to us about what they don't have, and yet I find myself realising how childish my demands and discontent are in God's eyes. 

I'm tired of wanting when my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills.   I don't need to want - I just need to wait, in full confidence, in expectation, not in sullen, cynical silence or loud, demanding cries.  

It reminds me of the verse about the weaned child, quiet on its mother's lap.   That is our goal for our children, but is it our goal for ourselves - to be like a child who doesn't need to be placated and 'fed' all the time, but one who is quietly waiting, on God's lap (not distant and independent), having learnt that all its needs are recognised and met in due time. 

Psalm 131:2  But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

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A Haven Called Friendship

The haven of real friendship is where you don't have to be someone amazing, but you are someone special.

A real friendship is a haven, a place of safety and refreshment, of both acceptance and challenge. 

The haven of real friendship is where you can be yourself and don't have to hide those bits that aren't so great behind the walls of your heart.

The haven of real friendship is where you feel safe to relax and just be, not do and not pretend.

The haven of real friendship is where you can recharge and reassess without condemnation or rejection. 

The haven of real friendship is a place of honesty and truth, not just facts or fiction. 

The haven of real friendship is a place of nurture and growth, a place to be watered and pruned. 

The haven of real friendship is really found in Jesus, but sometimes you find it in His people, those who have also found that haven for themselves. 

I love that Jesus calls us His friends and that He speaks of a haven, of rest.  

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
Psalm 91:1

How Big Can I Grow?

Checking in at Five Minute Friday, where we write for five minutes on a given prompt, and this week we're writing about GROW.  

We went outside late yesterday to pick up all the large dried seed pods off the ground and put them in a bag for burning.  They make great fire starters.   Little Abi, who is 3, was keen to collect as many seeds out of them as possible, before relinquishing the pods to the fire pile.   She put all the seeds very carefully into her container.  

Looking at that tiny seed in her hand, it's hard to believe it could grow into a massive tree. 

The seed was so small to compared to even her small hand, and she was so tiny compared to that massive tree.  

How much did that seed grow and what happened along the way?  How many seasons has that tree seen?   How much was it sheltered in its early years?  How many storms has it endured?

How do we grow? 

We need the right conditions to grow so big and strong, yes, but I think we need to cooperate with Him. 

I guess seeds and trees don't get a lot of say about where they grow and how. 

But we do.  It seems we have a great deal to say about where we grow and how.  It's not Him that stops us from growing, because that's His desire for us.  He is a creative, life-giving, nurturing, growing God and He wants that for us.  

What stops us from growing?   What stunts our growth?    I guess circumstances, pain, abuse, rejection, lack of opportunities, illness - all these can stunt us, but not if we keep submitting those to Him.  I wonder if what really stunts our growth is not what happens to us, but what we hold onto - bitterness, unforgiveness, lies, self-protection, fear, pain, scars, idols, strongholds - I wonder if these are the things that stunt our growth, not what happens to us. 

I see this massive tree sheltering several nests and think about what He wants for us - to be a strong tree, rooted in Him, to stand tall and be a place of shelter and an example of His glory. 

It seems that in this verse from 2 Peter, we are commanded to grow, charged with growth like it is OUR responsibility to grow.  He is the Gardener, but we must cooperate.  

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.   2 Pet 3:18

When You Don't Miss Church But Do Miss Jesus

Linking up at 5 Minute Friday where we all write for 5 minutes in a community on our prompt.  Today we're writing on MISS.  What do you miss?

Miss - what do I miss? I miss church. But not all of it. I don't miss the angst and the work and the stress of getting there with two little people, travelling 40 minutes to and from, and getting home after lunch on a Sunday, a day which is supposed to be a day of rest and turns out to be more exhausting than most of my other days. I don't miss going to church alone, consistently, without my husband and dealing with my children in that setting, alone, nor the stress of the perception of women who go to church alone.

I don't miss the hours put into making Sunday School meaningful for children from 2 through to 10, who aren't really that keen. I don't miss the shallowness of relationships, when really all I wanted was to sit down and have a decent, meaningful conversation with someone over a cup of tea, on any day, in any place, not just because it's Sunday and we happen to be in the same building on the same day of the week.

I miss worshipping God with people I know and care about, but I don't miss the hassle of trying to get a toddler to be quiet so that I can concentrate in worship and so that other people aren't put out.

I miss morning tea and connections, but I don't miss the frustration of not being able to go deeper because people don't have time or don't get who I am, of not being able to share deeply because it's not a private setting. I don't miss the in-house gossip, but I do miss belonging to a small group, however dysfunctional it might have been.

  So I miss church - but in missing church, I have found some deeper connections with people, and I have found out things about myself and church - what it should be, what I should be, and what we all shouldn't be and do. I don't miss 'playing church' but I am still missing what church should be about - in fact, sometimes I don't really have a clue. I have grown up in church, been there since I was seven years old, so over 40 years in church, and I still am missing the point of what church should really look like, both corporately and individually.

So, this year, I will keep looking and reading and seeking God about what HE thinks church should be, and I will keep connecting with His people wherever and whenever and however He asks me to, and I will keep missing out on some things until He says it's time to go back, consistently and to be committed to a particular group in a particular place at a particular time. So, I miss church but this season of missing something is allowing me to find what and more importantly, who I have missed and not recognised for a very long time in church - Jesus. And I've missed Him.

When Living Right Way Up is to Pass By - FMF

by Kath

The word 'pass' brings two immediate responses for me. 

The first is the phrase 'pass, thanks!' which is one of my cynical responses to an invitation to do something that I've tried hard at and has not been terribly successful, but rather painful.   That comment usually means I have no intention of trying to do again, nor to explain why I'm not, so please back off.  So, I'll leave that rather cynical response be - in fact, I'll pass on it.

But the other pass reminds of me of our exploration into learning German with my older girls when they were much younger.     

Könnten Sie mir bitte das Salz reichen?   That was how our German exchange student taught us to ask for the salt.   Literally, it translates as 'can you me please the salt pass?'.

Now, that's a little back to front, don't you think?   Well, I certainly thought so when I first heard it but it was perfectly normal to her.   In fact, she was still struggling with our English way of speaking, even after years of studying English, including the immersion method - studying many lessons in the target language.  She was a very clever girl, and yet she was struggling with our way of speaking.    She taught us normal, natural German and tried to teach us formal German and German grammar - now there's a challenge.  I found it challenging and the girls certainly did but we soldiered on and learn to speak it a bit and had a bit of fun along the way.   Today, we can speak it a bit and occasionally burst into German when certain things prompt us. 

But, it was all foreign to us.   We spent years learning it and speaking it in various settings, but really we only ever mastered the basics, because we were always drawn to English, drawn to our own culture, our own normal.  She was the foreigner in our English setting and wasn't with us for very long.  Perhaps if we had lived in a German culture, it would have taken more root in our lives.  

It reminds me that often God's ways seem so back to front, so wrong, so foreign to us, and we struggle to learn them and live them.   Perhaps we're just too grounded in our own culture, and don't want to live in His, for His ways to become normal to us.

Perhaps we need to pass more on this culture, and dive more fully into His, to live in His culture, to be uprooted from our own and planted into His. 

So, I'll pass thanks, not in cynicism, but I'll pass on those things that seem normal to me, but that He asks me to lay down so that His ways become mine.  

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

P.S. If you would like to read more about our German Adventure, you can click here

 Linking up at Five Minute Friday