IT'S TIME TO STOP AND DELIBERATE

After one of the most difficult fortnights for our family, I was wondering if I had anything to bring to today's Five Minute Friday prompt - deliberate.  

I'm still wondering.     But I have a few thoughts fermenting away.   A lot of thoughts, actually.   And in the midst of the implosion and the repercussions, the Lord has still been busy on MY surgery, as He does.    He doesn't waste anything. 

I thought about the adjective deliberate and there's a lot I could say, but I decided instead to think about the verb deliberate.   

definition of deliberate - to engage in long and careful consideration

Sometimes, when you're on the treadmill of busyness, even if it's good stuff you're busy with, you start to unravel a little, become short tempered, not as careful with your attitudes and your thought processes and keeping on top of the little foxes I wrote about recently.     Out of the heart the mouth speaks and it ain't all nice down there.   

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  Matt 12:34

So, it's time to stop and deliberate on what's bubbling away, or rather what's coming out of the mouth in my unguarded moments, rather than being too busy and ignoring it.    There's not as much praise coming out as there should be and that has to change.   

This weekend was supposed to be super busy with church activities, but we're all sick so we can't go anywhere.   We were also supposed to be rearranging bedrooms, but we can't do that either.   

So there is plenty of time to stop and deliberate, to engage in long and careful consideration of the hamster wheel, what needs to go, what needs to stay, how to find those rhythms of grace that He promises will lead to working from a place of rest.  

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matt 11:28-30 MSG

I've already put some things in place to that end.  And I've removed some things.    

But I suspect it's not just the practical stuff that is clogging up my wheel.   It feels like a backlog of 'stuff' - frustration, bitterness, disappointment, dissatisfaction and more.   Like the leftovers of all the surgery, but all compounded into one big, goopy mess.   Kind of like emotional constipation.  

Added to that the physical mess in our house while we rearrange various rooms is really adding to the constipation effect.   

So, what to do?   Deliberate - engage in long and careful consideration with Him, and just wait for answers, for help, for strategies, for clarity but also for refilling.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.   Matt 5:6

I know He will show me the answers, and the stuff that needs to be let go of, if I just put the time in.      And I know He pours mercy into those places that need to be emptied of their hold over me.   He's done that once already this week in a powerful way.   

Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you;

And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.

For the Lord is a God of justice;

Blessed are all those who wait for Him.   Isa 30:18

I find it encouraging that even as He asks me to wait on Him, He is willing to wait on me to get quiet.   

So, a quiet weekend it is.   Binge watching Peter Rabbit with the girls, while journalling on the quiet.    I guess sitting with my Bible and my journal is physically restful.    Perhaps I can sneak away to my river spot for an hour or two when the girls are feeling better.  

I love the truths found in Psalm 25 about God's desire to teach us and lead us, if we just get quiet before Him.

Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation;

On You I wait all the day.  Ps 25:4,5

Good and upright is the Lord;

Therefore He teaches sinners in the way.

The humble He guides in justice,

And the humble He teaches His way.

All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth,

To such as keep His covenant and His testimonies.  Ps 25:8-10

Once again, Hymn of the Holy Spirit, by by Pat Barrett, one of my favourite songs in this season. 

You're the light

You're my path

You're the shepherd of my soul

All I am

All I have

Holy Spirit, lead me on

Holy Spirit, guide my hearing

Wake my ears to words You speak

In the thunder and the stillness

Let Your voice be clear in me

Let Your voice be clear in me