WE DON'T NEED OPINION, WE NEED TRUTH!

I'm writing for Five Minute Friday and today's prompt word is OPINION. 

Recently I expressed an opinion (really it was an opinionated question) about a situation in our family circle and that opinion was then repeated, out of context, with an agenda, to the party involved, and it became the catalyst for a huge breakdown in relationship.   Lots of opinions were expressed and lots of long-term frustrations were aired and so now we're stuck.  

Opinions can be hurtful.   Opinions expressed at the wrong time, in the wrong company, and repeated out of context, can be hurtful.  

I've been hurt by significant people expressing their opinions about me, about my situation, about my problems and their perceived solutions.   

I've hurt others by expressing my opinion.  I've had strong opinions over the years about many things, and expressed them.   I'm reaping the results of some of that now, sadly.  

Some people don't care about my opinion.  For others, my opinion is significant because I am significant in their lives.   

How do we express an opinion without hurting someone?

Do we actually have a right to have an  opinion?

Do we have a right, even in family circles, to express an opinion?

As Christians, I don't believe we have a right to an opinion that's not the truth.  

The Lord tells us to be renewed in our minds and that includes our opinions and how we measure people and situations. 

..........but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.   Rom 12:2

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?   Matt 7:1-3

Who decides what's true in any given situation?  

The One who can see both sides of the coin and then some.   

It's been said that there are two sides to every story, but I believe there are three:   yours, mine and His.  His side is truth.    He is the truth.  He came from the Father full of grace and truth.    The Holy Spirit guides us into all truth, if we want to know the truth.  

However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.   John 16:13

As family members with other adults, we don't have a right to express an opinion about someone's life and decisions.    If we're living with people, or we're in significant relationship with someone, we should have healthy boundaries, so people can give and receive in a healthy way, but we don't have a right to an opinion.   

The Lord tells us to speak the truth in love.   Not opinion - truth.    

Jesus wasn't opinionated and He should be our model.    He spoke the truth - God's way of seeing it.  That is truth.   Not everyone appreciated hearing that truth, but that wasn't His priority.  He spoke the truth in love to anyone who wanted to hear it.   And their opinion of Him didn't faze Him because He knew His identity and His purpose.  

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.   John 1:14

We have an obligation, to seek truth and to speak the truth, like Jesus did.    God decides truth, not us.  And we have an obligation, to Him, to seek out truth - a true understanding of the situation.   

For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding;  Prov 2:6

Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of My mouth.  Prov 4:5

And we often don't seek that truth or speak that truth because we're too concerned with what their opinion of us will be when we do.   

Their opinion of us matters to us more than God's truth and it shouldn't.   The fear of man really is a snare for all involved.   

And that's when people get hurt.   When we don't seek and speak the truth, people get hurt.  When we don't speak the truth in love, people get hurt.  When we have and express opinions that aren't based on His truths, people get hurt.  

So, what's the answer?   

Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.  

We can hide our opinions to keep the peace, but under pressure, those opinions fly out of our mouths like shrapnel.   

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.     Matt 12:34

What we need to do is let the Lord examine our hearts, to show us what unrefined opinions are lurking in there.  We need to reassess how we see things and how we measure them.   Are our standards God's standards?   Are our opinions surrendered?

“The heart is deceitful above all things,

And desperately wicked; who can know it?

I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind,

Even to give every man according to his ways,

According to the fruit of his doings.  Jer 17:9,10 

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting.  Ps 139:23,24

And when those opinions come flying out of our mouths like shrapnel, we need to recognise that they do damage.  And make amends, if that person will allow us to have the necessary conversations.  

And if they won't allow conversation, we need to pray for the Lord to heal and restore and work in their lives while we let them be.   And we need to let Him be to get on with it.  

This week, He's shown me that His working, His goodness, His healing, is like water running down into crevices.    Sometimes, that's a powerful waterfall;  sometimes, it's a quiet trickle.  Either way, that healing power runs into nooks and crannies we can't see and don't understand and that's how HE works.   

And we need to let Him be to do it.    We need to stand back, out of the way.  Sometimes, we're allowed to watch;  mostly we're not.   

In the meantime, we need to be busy with our own heart's condition, and its unrefined opinions, as HE leads.

Just as desperate for you now

As I was back then

If I ever should forget

Remind me once again

I know the only reason

I can stand here unashamed

Is not because I'm worthy

It's all because of mercy

There's no way that I could earn it

Praise God my debt is paid

It's not because I'm worthy

It's all because of mercy